And they were roommates
My favorite part of being 20 is living with four other 20-year-old girls in our three-bedroom apartment. There is something so beautiful about navigating such a pivotal point in your life together. Because of this, we’ve spent numerous evenings taking turns cooking and talking.
Recently, I was on Twitter and saw a tweet that said, “Some of us were made to cook, and the others were made to have conversations with the person cooking.” It instantly reminded me of our apartment’s dynamic.
My roommate Carmen is stirring pasta noodles behind the counter as my roommates Leilani and Vanessa do yoga in the living room, giggling about the different poses. Meanwhile, my roommate Jasmyn and I sit on the counter stools with forks and plain noodles in hand, taste-testing to make sure they aren’t undercooked while telling Carmen about our thoughts and worries from the week.
There is laughter, emotional support and taste-testing skills all happening in the same place. Red peppers and feta have been thrown into the noodles, and the yoga video has turned into our evening playlist, now filled with Sade. We all grab our different colored plates, bumping into each other in our tiny kitchen as we blow on our hot pasta.
We all have different schedules and responsibilities during the week, so on weekends, specifically Sundays, when we get to cook and eat together, it reminds me of how lucky we are.
Being 20 in college by ourselves can feel overwhelming sometimes. There are summer internships and jobs we are applying for. Psychology, social work, legal studies, physics, and journalism exams we are studying for. We are constantly worried about figuring out our lives and careers. Still, moments like these, where we are all gathered on the couch, listening to ‘’Be That Easy,’’ and complimenting Carmen on her delicious feta pasta, while giggling about our night out, remind me that we don’t have to have everything figured out right now.
It isn’t always easy; there are days when we are all in the kitchen, rushing to make breakfast and not burn our tongues with our lemon ginger teas. And days where half of us are at the library until 12 a.m., and the other two are in bed by 9. But the important part is, no matter where we are, if one of us were to text about needing a mental health night, we would schedule a time. Whether that be a Monday night at 10, or a Friday at 8, we gather together, sheet facemasks on, frozen pepperoni pizzas in the oven and we even have matching Target pajamas! But the most important part is that we listen. We talk about our fears, our burdens and the anxiety that comes with balancing our studies, work, clubs and having a social life. Even reminding each other to take time to eat and reconnect with old hobbies. This support system helps us navigate the chaos of being 20 in college. Reminding us that in a world where independence is always reinforced, having a community to lean on is just as important.
One day, I won’t live with Carmen, Vanessa, Leilani and Jasmyn in our three-bedroom college apartment; we will probably all live in different cities with different careers and routines. Our schedules won’t always align for weekly Sunday dinners, so they will probably become rare. But what I do know right now is that when I look back on my college years and being 20, I will always remember these nights the most: those spent in our tiny kitchen with pasta-filled bowls and Sade playing in the background. I will always chase the feeling of knowing that, for a little while, we were all figuring life out together.