Motherhood does not only transform routine; it also transforms identity, the body, emotions, and the way a woman sees herself. It is common knowledge that motherhood completely changes someone’s life, even so in some Western societies, there is little space to recognize this transformation as a rite of passage. The transition to motherhood is often seen as natural, as if women should simply move on and automatically adapt to the new reality.
There is a cultural expectation that the role of being a mother should be immediate, without showing suffering, doubts, or difficulties, which makes many mothers feel alone.
The term Matrescence
Created by anthropologist Dana Raphael in the 1970s, the concept describes the physical, emotional, hormonal, social, and psychological changes that happen when a woman becomes a mother. Just as adolescence transforms a person’s identity, matrescence represents a profound reconstruction of one’s own existence.
In the book Matrescence: On Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Motherhood, writer and journalist Lucy Jones describes motherhood as an experience capable of provoking emotional and existential ruptures. The author argues that society still fails to recognize the psychological and physiological impact of becoming a mother. According to her, motherhood changes the brain, the hormonal system, the body, sleep, and even the way a woman perceives herself.
The work also questions the idea that mothers should experience this transformation without complaining. There is a silent expectation that every woman should enjoy every minute of motherhood, ignoring the internal conflicts and difficulties of the process. This pressure can make many mothers feel ashamed to admit negative feelings, believing they are failing.
In addition to emotional changes, matrescence also affects personal relationships, careers, and routines. Many women report difficulty balancing motherhood and professional life, while others face pressure to quickly recover their bodies and return to their old routines. In the middle of all this, there is still the social expectation of constant happiness.
According to specialists cited by Jones like neuroscientist Sarah McKay and psychiatrist Alexandra Sacks, pregnancy and childbirth also cause lasting brain changes, some possibly permanent. A mother’s brain goes through adaptations connected to care, protection, and emotional bonding with the baby.
Furthermore, the body faces intense physical transformations: hormonal changes, postpartum recovery, breastfeeding, and sleep deprivation are part of many mothers’ experiences.
The romanticization of motherhood
Even so, the maternal experience is still frequently romanticized. Movies, social media, and traditional discourses usually show only the happy side of motherhood: unconditional love, cute moments, and personal fulfillment. Very little is said about guilt, fear, loneliness, exhaustion, and loss of identity, feelings that are part of many mothers’ experiences.
On social media, motherhood is usually presented in an idealized way. Perfect photos, organized routines, and speeches about unconditional love create the image that being a mother is always something beautiful and light.
This type of representation ignores real feelings such as tiredness, fear, guilt, insecurity, and loneliness. Many women end up believing they are failing because they are not experiencing motherhood in the way shown on the internet.
Constant comparison can also increase emotional pressure. In an environment where mothers seem happy all the time, admitting difficulties becomes even more complicated.
The impact of motherhood on mental health
An important point raised by specialists is the impact of motherhood on mental health. The feeling of isolation is common especially during the first months after the baby is born, because the role of taking care of the infant is most of the time put on her alone.
Even while addressing pain and conflicts, the concept of matrescence also opens space for acceptance and identification. Recognizing this phase means understanding that motherhood does not only transform a baby’s life, but also the identity of the woman who becomes a mother. Talking about it helps reduce judgment, create support networks, and make the maternal experience less lonely.
Motherhood and loss of identity
One of the most striking parts of matrescence is the transformation of female identity. Many women feel that they are no longer seen as individuals, but only as mothers.
Changes in routine, the body, relationships, and even personal dreams can generate the feeling of losing one’s former identity. At the same time, motherhood can also create new meanings, priorities, and ways of seeing the world.
This conflict between who a woman was before and who she becomes after motherhood is a fundamental part of matrescence.
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The article above was edited by Rafaela Navarro
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