It’s no secret to those who know me that I have a slight obsession with Anthony Bourdain. Unlike my obsession with other celebrities, Anthony Bourdain holds a different narrative to me. It’s not a fangirl fascination; he has more of an inspiring influence and a mindful view of life that I deeply admire.
He lived a vast life and welcomed culture and community in every meal he ate and country he traveled. It’s devastating how he struggled with depression that led his life towards substance abuse and ultimately suicide.
His personal suffering didn’t stop him from exploring the world and human emotions though. His struggles never altered his journey of achieving personal success. His complicated story and way of living life has influenced me to live my own life to the fullest. To explore the world and different cultures through food and people, and the most valuable lesson of all: that life has no strict timeline for personal success.
As a college undergrad in this world I often get stressed about the future. Carrying the dread of landing in a scarce job market post-grad and the worry that I won’t be able to see the world before it changes too much for the worse.
I continue to choose the joy in everyday things despite what the future may hold. It can be as little as a meal I enjoyed or some street art I saw while running errands. To help find these “little joys” I like to go on walks on the Burke Gilman in the spring listening to podcast versions of “Parts Unknown” and audio versions of books from Bourdain, while taking in his words and observing my surroundings.
He saw the world in such a fascinating and grateful way, advising that the journey that is life is messy and different for everyone. His wise words that we remember him by bring a sense of calm to those who pay attention to the world and how we play a part in it.
“Maybe that’s enlightenment enough: to know that there is no final resting place of the mind; no moment of smug clarity. Perhaps wisdom…is realizing how small I am, and unwise, and how far I have yet to go.” – Anthony Bourdain
Of the most inspiring things this celebrity chef and traveler did was become a writer. He stated how that was always a dream of his. But, he continued to get trapped in the commercial kitchen, stuck behind the scenes of hospitality. He didn’t publish his breakthrough New York Times Bestselling memoir “Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly” until he was 44. After having lived a life full of food service, debt, and addiction.
He was 44-years-old when he first found success as a writer after publishing short articles, failed novels, and finding a community in publishing to support him. From there, his career bloomed into something more than just a Manhattan line cook. 44-years-old and he had only just cracked the door of success open. 2 years later he was on television blooming into a celebrity.
When I think of what I want my life to look like in my mid-forties I don’t think of the start of my dream career. I hope I will have a stable job, with stable housing, surrounded by friends and family who support and love me. However, there is a part of me that wonders if I will turn out like Bourdain. Finding personal success only after years of a mundane life. I wonder if I wait around for some midlife crisis that kickstarts my true passion, unbeknownst to me until then.
“I, a product of the New Frontier and Great Society, honestly believed that the world pretty much owed me a living– all I had to do was wait around in order to live better than my parents.” – Kitchen Confidential (2000)
One of the reasons I admire him so much is because I relate to him. Not as a line cook or an addict, but because he’s a passionate traveler whose curiosity takes the wheel. I wander and explore new places simply out of wonder. My friends will say the same on my behalf. Any new place we travel or visit, they know I will at some point wander away to explore— stepping away from the group to find my own path by myself. They never worry because I always find my way back at just the right moment. The desire to immerse myself in the unknown is a powerful thing. It has guided me down exciting trails and created amazing memories. Finding happiness in the solitude of adventure is a success of living freely.
While, again, I am no line cook and have never worked in the food service industry, I still have deep feelings when it comes to food. I love cooking for the people I care about, hanging out in the kitchen with friends, chatting while eating a home cooked meal or out at a restaurant. I can never make a meal for just myself, as my friends and I often say; “I cook for la gente.” I cook to share with everyone…and there are always leftovers.
Bourdain spent his life exploring the culinary world and how food connects people. It’s something that’s necessary to survive, both physically and emotionally. Recipes are passed down from generation to generation, first dates are had at low lit restaurants, gossip is shared over drinks or baked goods. Bourdain has taught me that it has never been about the meal, but the moment. Success doesn’t always come from money or power. It can be as simple as the smiles you see when sharing a meal.
“When somebody’s offering you food, they’re telling you a story, they’re telling you what they like, who they are. Presumably, it’s a proud reflection of their culture, their history, often a very tough history. You turn your nose up at that important moment, the whole relationship changes, and it will never be the same.” – Parts Unknown (2017)
Anthony Bourdain is a true inspiration to me. Despite his mistakes, mental illness, or what others may think of him. I have encountered negative opinions on Bourdain surrounding his attitude as a celebrity chef, addict, alcoholic, etc. Many highlight their distaste of his opinionated (often blunt) judgement of cuisine or people. However, I’ll admit that I thoroughly respect him. He was true to himself and his views of the world he explored. He was authentic and empathetic, a true wonder these days. Life is not about climbing the corporate ladder, being richer than your parents, or having things to brag about at a holiday party. He emphasized that the goal of life is to live it.
Be bold and courageous, find your own path. Let the sights and smells of the world guide you to an unplanned destination. Be humble to strangers who offer you kindness, a warm meal, or an invitation into their home. Find success in your own way, on no strict timeline. It will come when the time is right, in moments you may not expect.
But, take all these good tidings with a pinch of salt. You won’t have any entertaining stories to tell at the dinner table if you don’t go out and take a few wrong turns. After all:
“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.” – Kitchen Confidential (2000)