Noah Kahan is banned from every speaker in my room, along with Phoebe Bridgers and sometimes Sufjan Stevens, depending on the day.
Even though I’m still excited for his new album release, I genuinely don’t think I can emotionally handle it. I’ve always gravitated to more emotional and sad music to listen to because I’ve always felt more emotionally connected to the heavy feelings and emotions associated with the sound and lyrics.
Honestly, the more gut-wrenching the better.
I want my music to be filled with passion, and most of the time that passion is expressed through intense sadness and heartbreak. And while the passion and heartbreak are beautiful pieces of art, it’s not necessarily healthy to be consuming them all day, every single day.
When I was sixteen, and in the height of my depression, all I could listen to daily were songs that I found comfort and relatability in, which, at the time, happened to be artists like Phoebe Bridgers, Sufjan Stevens, and the Neighbourhood. I liked feeling comfortable in the sad lyrics that described feelings that I was having trouble putting into my own words, and while this is a wonderfully comfortable feeling, it doesn’t help you get better.
So, I came up with a solution. A ban list.
I compiled all the artists that made me feel the most emotional and sad, and most hopeless, and I told myself I had to find some happy substitute. Now I’m not saying that this magically cured my depression overnight, changing my environment, people, and therapy are what got me out, but what really helped was recognizing what kept me in my hole, and cutting it out of my life. Since music is what affects me the most on a daily basis, that was the first to go. Unfortunately, Noah Kahan was the first to go in this sad music purge.
His music is absolutely incredible and filled with so much soul that it creates such an iconic folk sound that leaves marks on everyone who listens to it, but sometimes the memories tied to a song are just too strong to enjoy on a daily basis. For me, I can’t listen to View Between Villages, Orange Juice, Growing Sideways, or Call Your Mom without either tearing up or breaking into full sobs because of the memories and experiences tied to them.
So Noah, while I love you and I’m so proud, I’ve gotta support from a distance. Love you though and always will (the new album is fire by the way).