As a biology major on a pre-vert track, I basically consume more energy drinks than water. Need I say more? After downing an ungodly amount of caffeine to survive my schedule, I’ve developed a sense of judging who you may be based on your pick.
Celsius:
My first love, I wouldn’t have survived high school without her. This translates to the type of person you are if this is your fav: reliable. You may never be early, but you’re never late. You have five different things going on and fifty tabs open all the time, yet somehow you’re more chill than anyone else on this list. This has been your go-to since the 10th grade, you downed a billion Strawberry Guavas back when their flavor options were limited. I’m biased, but Celsius screams STEM major.
Bloom:
You’re a Celsius or Alani traitor who switched for the Crisp Apple flavor. Honestly? I can’t even blame you. These got me through last semester (shoutout to Costco 36-packs). If these are your fav, you’re definitely a neat freak. I’m seeing color coded notes, fifty step skin care routine, and an Apple calendar that is filled down to the second. Bloom feels very feminine, a very pilates princess or sorority girl (very Phi Sig), Bloom belongs to the Pre-Law girls.
Monster:
Are you okay? No seriously. These have been your favorite since you found out what caffeine was. At some point in your life, you definitely had either a collection of empty cans or a necklace made of the tabs. You have one die-hard flavor that you would go to war for. Your life is very chaotic but you just let it happen. No schedule just remembering (mostly) the stuff you have to do on the day. You are always ten minutes late to class, but ten minutes late is the new on time. Monster gives business to me.
Red Bull:
Again, I have to ask, are you doing alright? Personal confession: I was genuinely terrified of Red Bull until I tried a Sugar-Free Iced Vanilla Berry earlier this year. My consensus? It was alright. I think the way the tabs look is so fun so there’s that. As a person these give a home body or someone who goes out all the time but not very in between. There are two types of Red Bull drinkers on this campus. The one who is devoted to two clubs and goes to every single event for them. Then there is the “Group-Me” collector, who is in every club’s Group-Me but has never stepped foot into a Marillac classroom at common hour. My roommate drinks these so I’ll give these to the psychology majors.
Alani:
You are a loyalist. You’ve heard all the rumors about the “side effects”, and you simply do not care and stand tall in your truth, and honestly? I commend your bravery. These are the gym girl’s go-to for when a Gorilla Mind or pre workout isn’t within reach. It doesn’t matter to you if you have to fight through common hour traffic for the squat rack, you will persevere and look better than anyone at the beach this summer. These also scream organized, but not in a color-coded calendar way. In a notes app to do list type of way, very efficient all the time but also a little stressed. You were probably a Celsius ride-or-die until you realized Alani tastes like a literal dessert while you’re on cut. This is the drink of the Sports Management queens or our Women in Business.
At the end of the day if your fun caffeinated drink of the day is what you need to make it to finals, I relate heavily. Even if I judge your flavor choices, the caffeine bond is universal. Pick your poison, stay hydrated in this weather (perhaps actual water) and may your heart rate be somewhat normal during finals week.