I’m my father’s daughter at heart, so as I grew up, I inherited many of his interests. He and my mom used to play lullaby versions of Green Day and Nirvana songs when I was a baby.
My dad took me to see Guardians of the Galaxy when I was 8. The earliest cartoon I can remember loving was the original Teen Titans from 2003, and I had a John Cena lunchbox in the third grade.
It’s safe to say that being a nerd is pretty much in my blood. Literally in my genetic makeup from my non-practicing nerdy parents. The older I got, the more I wanted to have peers with interests like mine.
However, I struggled to find women like me. I knew they were out there somewhere, but they weren’t anywhere near me. Connecting with men who shared my interests proved a challenge.
For some reason, I kept having to prove that I was a “real fan” of a band, character, or movie. If I were at a record store in a Nirvana tee, I had to name five songs of theirs. If I said I liked Batman comics, I had to be able to name all the Robins. Letterboxd account? Name your favorite director, and they had better be niche.
Ignoring the Noise
Not every guy I tried to befriend was like this. Many of my current fandom friends are guys, and they treat the other women and me in their lives as normal people. Sometimes it was other women who called on me for these ridiculous asks.
Sometime in my mid-teens, I realized that I didn’t have to entertain silly questions or prove myself as a fan to anyone. Yeah, seeing these people realize that I do know what I’m talking about was satisfying, but the peace that comes with ignoring them is even better.
My resigning from the conversation didn’t make me any less upset that it was even happening in the first place. Why do women have to play defense for our interests, or are expected to be ready for offense? Why do we have to play a game at all?
The notion that women dictate pop culture trends is becoming increasingly popular. Women are the primary spenders in society. The notion of industry trying to exclude women from their buyer pool seemed, to me, vaguely idiotic.
Despite the success of comic-based movies, comic sales aren’t increasing. Record stores were nearly extinct before making a comeback. Both businesses are spaces in which women get the most “fake fan” allegations.
These male-dominated fandoms may need women more than they realize or care to admit. Existing as a woman in these spaces is not offensive, and no woman should feel ashamed of liking comic books, wrestling, or dad rock. No one gender has a monopoly on being a nerd.
Even in the creation of these materials, women are pushed out of the space. Only roughly 16-17% of comic book creators are women. Women are a rarity in alternative music, making up only 20% of all musicians in the United States.
For women in these male-dominated fields, being able to enjoy women’s creations is important. Many other fans and I like to see ourselves in the art we consume.
Fandoms don’t have to be inherently feminine or masculine, but to reject one or the other is a disservice to the creation of community. Femininity doesn’t ruin a Superman comic or take away from the integrity of a Christopher Nolan movie. Women are allowed to be nerdy and deserve to do so in peace.
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