There’s this image of college that we all have in our heads before we actually arrive, the one where you find your people immediately during freshman week, stay friends forever, and create memories that will stick with you forever. In some extremely rare instances, that could happen for sure, but at times… it doesn’t, and that’s okay because it’s just reality.
Outgrowing people in college is way more common than anyone would like to admit. You start the semester off with one version of yourself, and within a few months, you’ve already changed. Interests shift, priorities evolve, and the things you once bonded over don’t feel the same anymore.
The weird thing, though, is that there isn’t a clear ending or something big that ends the relationship. It’s the smaller things like not texting as much, not making as many plans together, or even conversations feeling off. You get to a point where you realize you’re putting in effort out of habit, not because it feels natural to you anymore. And for a while, yeah, you might try and hold on to it out of the fear of losing a potential “forever friend”, because it makes you think where you went wrong, but holding onto the friendship might be more exhausting than just letting it go.
Outgrowing a person doesn’t mean that they were never important to you; they still mattered and helped shape who you are now. It just means that they helped you get through a certain phase of life, but weren’t meant to continue growing with you.
This time that we have in college is where we are really allowed to redefine ourselves with a fresh start, and figure out what we like, who we want to be with, and where our values lie.
So if you feel like you’re drifting from a group that you used to always hang out with, don’t stress. You didn’t fail, you are just evolving, and sometimes that’s exactly what you need!