People always have someplace to be, someone to see, something to do.
Nonetheless, the most meaningful conversations and connections I have ever had always happen when I decide to stay a little longer…
Whether it’s a social event, sports practice, work event, or simply getting ready by myself.
Nonetheless, lingering is obviously not ideal when people lead busy lives and have to hop from one busy schedule to the next. But it’s a practice that fosters presence and community. Lingering a little (too) long may be inconvenient in some ways, but in my opinion, it helps practice living authentically.
My brother and mom have always had the tendency to take their sweet time – whether it’s getting ready, or staying past a certain time somewhere, they often lack a sense of urgency quite a lot. This attribute used to irk me really badly because I have always been ready to hop from one activity to the next, either out of boredom or because I actually had someplace to be or something to do. Although I’ve come to find a sort of peace in their snail’s pace (sometimes). It has taught me that doing things slowly won’t always kill me because life isn’t a race. Rushing to get things done takes the meaning out of what you are doing them for.
Now, I totally agree that some things need to be done quickly and efficiently, but I urge you (and myself) to be more conscientious of what you are trying to get done so fast.
For example, chew your food. It won’t hurt you. It might even save you. Chewing your food allows you to better digest proteins and nutrients, and it even tastes better when you sit with it for a bit.
Another thing is getting ready. If you do not necessarily have to be at the club at a certain time, don’t. Play some music and have fun getting everything together for your night. You can always stay a little longer.
That brings me to lingering after a scheduled event. Talk to your professor. Engage with your classmates in ways you can’t during lecture. Talk to the girls on your sports team about your day, maybe even their siblings or friends, too if they’re there. Just don’t leave so quickly if you can. When you leave quickly, sometimes you miss out on certain conversations or plans that are being made. You miss the opportunity to make a friend or learn about something new. Be purposeful with your time, but don’t smother it.
When I linger, dinner plans are made, events I didn’t know were going on are brought up, etc. etc. I get to network myself, but also allow myself to gain new experiences by being present and not immediately thinking about the next place I have to be, as much as I can help it.
Keep the art of Lingering alive by being where your feet are.
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