I’m sure you are all familiar with the iconic film, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, starring Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey, and if you aren’t, I urge you to close this article and turn on your TV. I often wonder how that movie would be different if the title were changed to “How to Lose a Girl in 10 Days,” so I gathered some insight from my friends and compiled a list of ways a guy can lose a girl. So, without further ado, here is my list (in no particular order) of the top 10 mistakes a guy can make in a relationship:
1. Telling her what to do
This one mistake can show up in many forms, like telling her what to wear, who not to hang out with, how she can spend her time, etc. Even if this behavior comes from a place of concern, feeling like your partner has control over your life can make a girl feel trapped. Not to mention the fact that the whole “I don’t want guys looking at you in that top” thing is SO overdone. Pick a new insecurity, guys. This one is tired.
2. Bad communication
Poor communication is something that concerns all kinds of relationships, whether it’s a lack of communication with your partner, a friend, a classmate, or even a parent. This habit often creates tension and a lack of trust between both people. It is so incredibly easy to communicate and stay in touch with people these days, which leads me to believe that this mistake is honestly just a sign of laziness in your partner.
3. only talking about yourself
You know that nightmare situation when you go on a first date with a guy and all he talks about is himself, and you realize he hasn’t asked you a single question? And then he hits you with the “I had a great time, I’d love to take you on another date.” Yeah, no kidding, buddy, you talked about your high school lacrosse “career” and mansplained your sales job to me for 2 hours. This mistake often leads to the next one, which is…
4. not taking the time to invest in her life
When a guy is so deeply invested in himself, he often forgets that he made a commitment to another person and neglects their needs over his own. It can be something as simple as listening to a long rant about her favorite book or asking her a question about the long day she had at work. Neglecting the other person in a relationship and placing your desires over theirs is a major red flag that will further manifest into a lack of care overall.Â
5. being a sloppy drunk
I don’t think I even need to go into detail for this one. Why don’t you know your limit at the age of 22?
6. being possessive
The number of stories I have heard through the grapevine about girls whose boyfriends don’t allow them to go places without them is absurd. Committing to your partner does not mean spending every waking moment with them. Being in a relationship is such an amazing time to love and learn about one another’s interests, and possession is the perfect way to ruin that honeymoon bliss.
7. having a lack of trust
I cannot stress this point enough: if you do not have trust in your relationship, you have nothing. And I don’t even want to hear the same old excuse, “It’s not that I don’t trust you, I just don’t trust other guys.” Which, BTW, just confirms that guys will push the boundaries with a girl, no matter the circumstance, but that is a conversation for another time. Trust is such an important value in any relationship, so why are you even in one if you don’t know how to trust?
8. Mommy’s boy
Something about this trait in a guy is just really off-putting for me. Why are you letting your mommy decide who you should and shouldn’t date at your grown age? And don’t get me wrong here, I appreciate a guy who loves his mamma, but there is a limit to this, and you can tell when that limit has been exceeded. Like, maybe if she’s still doing your laundry when you visit home at 25 years old.Â
9. being self-righteous
I think this is another trait that goes without saying. I have so much respect for self-deprecating guys, and when I encounter a guy who cannot and will not make jokes about himself, all I can do is roll my eyes.Â
10. acting different around his friends
This is a major red flag that I personally have encountered numerous times. It makes you wonder who you are really dating and which version of them is the real one. It’s also just super embarrassing and awkward for both of you because you are both very aware of what is happening. Honestly, I’m getting nauseous just thinking about it.
So, that is the final list that my friends and I have compiled about how to lose a girl in 10 days. Maybe some of you will feel seen after reading this, and maybe some of you were able to come up with your own red flags that you’ve seen in men. On another note, I am truly sorry if you have experienced any of these mistakes firsthand and had to relive them through this article. I can only hope that this generation of women can break the cycle of men who just can’t quite seem to get it right.