As a teenage girl who is in college, I am in the time of life where I am insecure about anything and everything. It is so easy for me, and I believe most others, to start comparing their looks, their lives and their bodies to peers and others on social media. What has helped me is knowing that I am not alone and that what I am feeling is normal.
When I am scrolling on TikTok, one of my favorite trends that has been going around is the “Five Things I am Insecure About to Make Other Girls Feel Better.” This trend has helped me feel more comfortable with the things I am insecure about because I know I am not alone. I am hoping that by listing these traits, I can make at least one girl feel better.
- My Ears
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The first, and biggest, thing I am insecure about is my ears. I have been in the position where I have been called “monkey ears,” and since then, I have never seen my ears the same.
When my hair is down, and in front of my ears, without a doubt, the top of my ear starts to stick out behind. This results in either me just putting my hair behind my ears, putting my hair up or having to re-fix my hair and make sure my ears are covered every five minutes.
Sometimes I get upset over the fact that most people don’t even have to think about the hairstyle they have to wear, so their ears do not stick out. But the truth is, this tiny thing we are insecure about makes us so unique to everyone else, and that is what is important.
- My Side Profile
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I have been blessed with the unfortunate feature of not liking how I look from the side. When someone is walking next to me, all I can think about is “They probably noticed how bad my side profile is.” Even though the person I am walking next to (who is usually my boyfriend) is thinking about what movie we are going to watch later or what stupid question I am going to ask him next, like the classic “Do you even love me?”
I tend not to pose in certain ways in pictures to avoid the side of my face being shown, which knocks out half the poses a girl can do to get a good picture. At this point, I have mastered the art of just slightly tilting my head so my side profile does not make an appearance.
- My Cross Eyes
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I was born with a condition most people have never heard of called Duane Syndrome. Long story short, Duane Syndrome is rare and restricts horizontal eye movement, which limits my ability to move my right eye outwards.
Basically, my right pupil permanently sits in the inner corner of my eye. I can move both of my eyes to look to the left, but can only move my left eye to look to the right because my right eye does not move past the center. This is all because the muscles in my eye are not strong enough to hold my eye in the middle and to move my right eye to both sides.
When I take a picture, whether it is a selfie or someone taking a picture for me, my cross-eye is completely noticeable. It is difficult to tell where I am actually looking because one eye is straight forward and one is not. This results in me either not liking the picture at all or having to invert the picture so it is not as noticeable.
When I am having a conversation with someone, I think about how they can tell that my eyes are not straight. When I was younger and even until this day, I have been bullied and made fun of for it. However, when my mom is talking to me, and she is on my right, I only look with my eyes instead of turning my head because she gets freaked out.
I have always been insecure about how my eyes look, and I know many girls also have the struggle of having a cross-eye. Just know you are not alone, and it is okay for that to not be your favorite thing about yourself. Just remember, no one probably notices it anyway.
- My Chin and Soft Jawline
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To go along with not liking how my side profile looks, a lot of this comes from the fact that I have a receding chin and a non-sharp jawline. When I look at myself from the side, my chin looks more rounded and sloped than most people’s. Because of this, if I sit at a certain angle or when I look down, I have a double chin.
I have become naturally aware of how to keep my face so I do not feel like my double chin is showing. I find myself taking my hands throughout the day, trying to recreate the motions of a Gua Sha to create a sharper jawline as well as a sharper chin.
I have learned that doing that is not realistic. I look at influencers like Alix Earle, and I question why my chin and jawline do not look like hers. But at the same time, I know the media only shows the best angles and editing, and I think all girls need to remember that.
- How Many Friends I Have
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Since I was younger, I have struggled with the fact of making friends. In elementary school, I had a big friend group that I thought was going to be in my life forever. I sort of forced myself to be in that friend group, but I made it work and became close with everyone.
When middle school came, we all grew apart, but I stayed friends with most.
I was the friend you could never get to stop talking. I was nice, I would smile, but it started to seem like I was friends with them, but they were not friends with me. In middle school, I had the pleasure of meeting one of my best friends to this day.
Sofia has been my ride or die since my seventh-grade year and her eighth-grade year. We met in gym class, then in high school we got moved into the same Italian class and we sat next to each other and became inseparable ever since. Even when we got into an argument, we came back stronger than ever, and I will forever be grateful to have a friend like her.
My future maid of honor for real.
I cheered on my high school cheer team, but never made it into one of the real cliques that the entire team was made up of. There was one group of girls in my grade that would let no one into their circle. The other girls my age became friends with the younger girls, but I never found my person on the team who again wanted to be my friend.
I am now in college and still do not have the friend group I have been longing for for so long. I look around this big campus and see every girl having that one friend group to go out with, to go downtown with, to get dinner with or to just sit and hang out in one of their dorms. Because of college, doing things alone has been normalized.
I found myself having to either ask people to hang out with me because they won’t be the ones to reach out first, or just having to do it alone. I go out to dinner by myself unless I am with my boyfriend.
I get insecure about the fact that I am on this big campus and can’t find just two girls to make a trio friend group with. I get insecure about the fact that I am alone most of the time. I thought college was going to be a different experience for me in the friend aspect, and I am insecure about the fact that I was wrong.
Do not be ashamed to do things alone. Do not be ashamed to feel like you do not have friends. You are young and powerful, and trust me when I say your people will come into your life when you need them the most. Trust me when I say that because I am also in that waiting process.
As I have grown older, I have realized that being insecure all the time is no way to live. Life is too short to be lived not enjoying every second you have and the body you’re in and who you are doing it with. Insecurity and fear are two of the worst things to live with, especially because most of the time these things are just in your head and no one else’s.
One thing I want you to take away with this, if anything, is that you are not alone. Everyone has their own little insecurities, whether they believe so or not. Everyone is beautiful and unique in their own ways, and that is what makes us all special.
Being the same is boring. Be different and be happy you are.