Harry Styles recently released his fourth album, Kiss All The Time Disco Occasionally. This album centers around self-discovery, fame, love, and the ebbs and flows of life. One of the more popular songs on his album is titled “Coming Up Roses.” It’s one of the slower and more emotional songs in the new album. In a recent interview, Harry Styles describes that “Coming Up Roses” should remind listeners “that something does not have to last forever in order to be special.” This statement has been especially prominent to me as someone who obsesses over significance and the idea of “forever.”
I think in life, especially with age, it’s very human to try to force things to occur as long as possible. We get a taste of goodness, and it’s in our nature to want that to stay constant or consistent. Perhaps we define specialness by its lifespan or time-limited significance. As if the dearest and most important people or moments are the longest occurring. But specialness is not measured by how long something lasts but instead by what it means to us while it does.
The truth is that in life nothing lasts forever; everything expires at some point and in some way. Whether this is as simple as rotted fruit on the kitchen counter or something deeper, like the death of someone close to us. I believe Harry is referring to the forever that exists as long as we know it, and both true-edged endings. A lot of things in life are not meant to last forever, or even for long, but to exist as specialness for the time that they do last. Perhaps the specialness itself is rooted in the expiration, in knowing that it is a privilege to exist in this goodness, for as long as it shall last.
Throughout my life so far I have endured several variations of heartbreak, recently experiencing a relationship ending this past winter. For a very long time I was stuck in a state of extreme sadness due to the absence of something/someone so special to me in my life. It is easy to stay stuck and linger in loss. I have found though, with time, that this hardship got easier when I reminded myself that this experience is not defined by its death, but defined by its specialness. It is a privilege, not a promise, to experience love. Although the relationship did not last in a form of foreverness, it did exist in a form of specialness. It was special because it is a gift and a lesson. It was special because within it lived softness and courage. It was special in newness and youth. It was special because it was so specifically placed. The hard truth is, love does not always last, but love is not a waste, and its specialness can still be just as potent, even if it falls flat. It is special because it did exist, and what a privilege that is. There is specialness found in the hope of it all, and the possibility to find it again.
Another aspect of life I have struggled with is letting go of adolescence. I think a lot of humans struggle with stepping away from childhood because it’s not something we can control. Youth slips slowly, unknowingly, until it suddenly someday morphs into a new label. I think childhood is a much easier example to grasp specialness. We know childhood cannot and will not last forever, because that’s how life works, that’s how aging works. We are aware of this timeline. Specialness lies in the warmth, the wonder, the curiosity, and youthful experiences that fill that section of our lives. It’s special because we share it, we grow from it, and we remember it.
As someone who likes to grip life tightly, I have found peace in recognizing specialness. I often like to control this ride, worrying about checking everything off and also staying present in it. Forcing people to be the one, and things to be forever fulfilling. I have learned that sometimes the most special of things are ephemeral. There is specialness in the details that slowly dilute with time. There is specialness in the things we know will end. Just because something is not forever does not mean it loses significance. Some things are merely there to show us how remarkable the mortal things are. That we, too, are mortal with it. So feel it all, swim in it, sink in it, be with it.