If you had told me two years ago that I would be in a long-distance relationship with a boy who goes to a military college in Vermont, I would have laughed in your face. Because no, Gianna doesn’t do long distance. Not ever. My biggest fears in a relationship boiled down to two things: 1) getting cheated on and 2) doing long distance.
I had absolutely no idea what I was getting myself into. A girl was just trying to follow her heart and ignore all of the panic in her head. I had convinced myself that I didn’t have the “personality type” to do long distance, so I was extremely reluctant about the situation when I first started dating my boyfriend.
Not only are we long-distance because of college, but he also aspires to join the Marine Corps, meaning I’m going to become an expert on all things long-distance. I might as well embrace it.
Before I was in this relationship, I questioned why anyone would ever consider being in a long-distance relationship when they could just do something more convenient and maybe less painful. What I didn’t understand at the time is that love means sacrifice, and being apart temporarily is worthwhile for a future spent together. This is clear as day to me now. With long distance comes hardship, but it also comes with unimaginable reward.
They say that long distance is the ultimate test, and I believe that to be true. There’s no better way to say “I love you” than by proving that you’re willing to wait for someone. The reality is that relationships can be painful and messy. You know how they say, “choose your hard?” I would rather have someone worth missing, someone who makes saying goodbye so hard, than break off a relationship for the sake of the “college experience.” I find it hard to believe in the college experience. Personally, I think it’s a scapegoat that people use to get out of unwanted relationships or to justify hookup culture.
I’m living proof that you can have both at once—you can both be in a healthy long-distance relationship while also enjoying your time at college. If you think that one takes away from the other, then you might not be doing it right.
If anything, I feel that my long-distance relationship allows me to lean more into my college experience (different from the college experience). I’m so much more attentive to my academics and present with my friends because my social life and love life are completely separate. I’m never fighting for a balance between spending time with friends and spending time with my boyfriend, because I pretty much have unlimited time for them. By my definition, the college experience should be about meeting your future bridesmaids, and I’m doing exactly that while maintaining a relationship.
I think that when long distance comes to mind, people are quick to make the negative associations of pain and difficulty. I certainly was able to think of plenty of disadvantages when I first weighed my options with a pros and cons list. Now, I swear I could write a long list of the reasons that I’m so beyond grateful for it.
Sometimes life pulls people in different directions, but it doesn’t have to pull their relationship apart. If you’re truly committed to the person you’re with, you’ll tell yourself that this is nothing but a short chapter among many other chapters of life together.
And isn’t that what makes life beautiful? Everything is a season, nothing is forever. We’re put through hardships because we’re strong enough to handle them. This sacrifice is one that I am happy to make for the person I love, because love is about more than the distance that keeps us apart. It is about the closeness of heart.