Spend a few minutes on TikTok and you’ll quickly stumble upon a familiar pattern. In response to a female influencer’s couple content, the comment section seems to be in on the same joke: “Blink twice if you’re okay.” “Babe, is he bothering you?” “Couldn’t be me, but stay safe out there.” Though playful, these remarks are telling. A growing corner of the Internet seems to agree that having a boyfriend, or flaunting one, is going out of style.
This shift away from traditional heteronormative relationship dynamics exploded into mainstream conversation after Vogue published the viral article, “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?” in October 2025. Written by Chanté Joseph, the piece explores how young women publicly display their relationships with men. Joseph interpreted a decline of boyfriend-centric online content as evidence that male partners are no longer viewed as social achievements or the centerpieces of women’s lives. As she put it, “The days of a man being a prize have changed.”
The headline alone ignited a firestorm: millions of reads, TikTok stitches, think pieces and ongoing discourse have prompted many to reconsider how our generation approaches romance. While some rushed to the defense of their male better halves, countless women took to the Internet to express their relief at the changing tides, echoing the idea that being single is a luxury worth celebrating.
Within the landscape of modern dating, a choice that once felt personal is increasingly public, giving the act of being in a relationship new weight.
“We are in a moment of destabilization where people are redefining what it means to be in a partnership,” said Dr. Lee Kinsey, a certified sex and relationships therapist. In his practice, Kinsey has observed new expectations for romance, favoring egalitarian dynamics based on love and intimacy rather than traditionally gender-based, transactional ones. “We’re still human beings, and we desperately want and need to be loved. But at the same time,” he said, “there’s something oppressive about being in a relationship that people are sifting through.”
To Lauren Savit, a Northeastern University professor in the women’s, gender, and sexuality studies program, the Vogue article’s virality was no accident. “It hit at a time when two ideas are clashing,” she said. “Toxic masculinity and traditional femininity.” To explain why this sensation has made waves, Savit pointed to the convergence of several cultural elements, from the resurgence of tradwife aesthetics to recent revelations surrounding Jeffrey Epstein. She emphasized that the interaction of these conditions has created “a perfect storm.”
Savit viewed the discourse as a response to larger structural evolutions. “Calling these phenomena personal is a trick,” she said. “Historically, women needed heteronormativity because they did not have access to the professional sphere. Marriage was a structural necessity. Now that this isn’t universally true, women realizing they don’t need relationships with men feels disruptive.”
Her colleague, professor Margot Abels, interpreted the moment similarly. She noted, “Men are often the butt of jokes today. Individual men may be trying to defy that, but we’re not seeing a mass strategy to differentiate themselves from masculinity gone awry.”
According to Abels, the frustration many young women express stems from political backtracking clashing with decades of feminist progress. “This generation came of age during the #MeToo movement. There was this sense of excitement and potential,” she said. “Now, we are facing elected officials making decisions for us and our bodies. Whiplash is the best way to describe it.”
The resulting dissonance has seeped into the digital world, visible through the careful presentation of romance online. Conventional relationship posts have been replaced by “soft launches,” a strategy that hints at a partner without officially declaring one. Think intentionally subtle photos: a shoulder in the corner of the frame, a second coffee cup across the table, a vase of flowers on a desk. This choice often reflects an attempt to maintain a balance between intimacy and independence.
Navigating virtual interactions adds yet another layer of complexity to the already murky waters of modern dating. “We’re opening up our relationships to critique at a time when our expectations are unclear,” Kinsey explained. This heightened sensitivity around public perception uniquely complicates intimacy. “Social media ramps up the pressure,” he said. “How are we supposed to meet standards that nobody can articulate?”
This tension resonated with Peyton Durkin, a third-year Northeastern student, who agreed that social media can turn romance into a performance. “People are really quick to judge visible relationships, everything from appearance to personality to whether a couple belongs together,” she said. “As a result, many women are unwilling to publicize their relationship online because they don’t want to be seen as the ‘boyfriend girl.'”
Still, a mass exodus from heterosexual relationships is unlikely. Savit warned against viewing digital trends as true ideological shifts. “Everything amplified online is not necessarily reflective of reality,” she said. “These are narratives shaped by algorithms in small echo chambers.” She suggested that distance from partnership is not sustainable, even if culturally popular. “When state and government institutions pull back, people rely more heavily on partners and community support. Having a boyfriend might be ‘embarrassing’ in theory, but having a person is becoming more necessary than ever.”
As for what the future of relationships will look like, Savit predicted repetition. “It’ll be the same story repackaged on a different platform,” she said. She noted that cultural narratives about incompetent or embarrassing men have existed for decades in sitcoms, films and pop culture. “This isn’t the first time we’ve seen the ‘beautiful woman, schlubby man’ trope,” she said. What’s new isn’t the dynamic, but whose perspective it is coming from.
Kinsey offered a more hopeful outlook. “People are starting to recognize that they need meaningful, emotionally fulfilling relationships,” he said. “My hope is that we build society around those connections to make life more fulfilling.”
For now, the “embarrassing boyfriend” cultural flashpoint remains an imperfect snapshot of a generation navigating independence, romance and a social terrain where privacy is increasingly hard to come by. If anything, this moment does not signal the abandonment of intimacy, but a renegotiation of its terms.