A few months ago, I turned twenty, meaning that I was no longer a teenager, but a full-on adult. Sometimes I forget that I’m twenty, because I think that I’m still fifteen, even though I’m not. Getting older has made time fly right by me, and sometimes I don’t even notice how fast it goes. Ever since I turned twenty, there is this lingering feeling that I’m behind in life. Which is funny, since my life just started.
Being in college, it feels like I need to have my life set up already, like I need to know what to do after I graduate. Should I go to graduate school? Do I have any internships lined up for the summer? Will I have a job after graduation? People keep telling me that this is life, and this is what you have to worry about when you get older and enter adulthood. But if I’m being honest, I don’t really like it. No one ever told me how much pressure it was to feel like I need to have a plan set up for the rest of my life at twenty years old.
I’m still new to learning about living life. I don’t know everything in the world so I think it’s okay not to know where my life will go. I do have dreams and desires, ones I will chase until I achieve them. But, finding a path to that finish line is never the same for everyone. It takes time, and sometimes you have to find a different way to get there.
I think turning twenty has shown me that this doubt and worry about my life will always come up sometimes, while there are also times when I don’t really worry about it at all. There’s still so much for me to explore in the world, whether it’s different places, hobbies, or people. And that’s what I look forward to in life. I know I shouldn’t be scared, but that feeling will always linger.
But, I’m proud to say that I’m excited for life. I know that what’s meant for me will come for me, and being twenty shouldn’t be something that scares me; it should be something that I’m excited about. I want to live my life without fear, with pure excitement for what is to come next in my life.