Throughout the duration of “Gilmore Girls” and its revival, “Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life,” we watch protagonist Rory Gilmore navigate several relationships that reflect the different stages of her life.
From a shy high schooler to an ambitious Yale student to an uncertain young adult, each romance highlights a new version of Rory, shaped by growth, insecurity and self-discovery.
While all of Rory’s romantic partners have their own pros and cons, I think every watcher’s preference says a little bit about their own personality and perspective when it comes to relationships. The team you root for often reflects what you value most in a relationship.
Here are my opinions on what your favorite ship says about you:
- Team Dean
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Being Team Dean is probably the most low-stakes choice one can make while watching “Gilmore Girls,” and I mean that positively. Dean is a very loving, nurturing boyfriend towards Rory; the epitome of what a healthy first relationship should be like.
While Dean does have faults, such as being overbearing and at times overdependent on Rory, he truly cared about her and tried his best to adapt to her interests, even if they didn’t always suit him.
Dean is for the watchers who just want to find someone they know they can rely on. While he and Rory may have disagreements, they are always easily resolved and patched up.
He’s a good communicator and wants to be there for Rory when she needs him. He actively makes an effort to meet Gilmore’s family, and is the type of partner one feels they’d be able to commit to for the long-term.
- Team Jess
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I may be biased towards this ship, but I truly do believe that Jess and Rory are the pinnacle of the of the right person at the wrong time. Jess was broody and definitely not as outwardly warm as Dean, however he was a character who deeply cared about Rory, her interests and her passions.
Watchers who are team Jess are probably a bit prone to a one-off toxic relationship, as the sheer amount of miscommunication between these two is astronomical.
However, at the end of the day, Rory and Jess are only around 17 while they’re together, with neither of them being mature enough to truly understand how to patch the holes between them.
Jess truly was one of Rory’s only love interests who not only understood her intellect, but aimed to match it. Team Jess is for watchers who want to find that special someone who understands them to their core; who recognizes their faults and continues to admire their strengths.
Rory’s relationship with Jess emphasizes her transition away from the person she felt comfortable with (Dean), to the person who she felt she deeply connected to. Jess’ bad boy nature made him an undesirable partner for Rory in the eyes of everyone but her own, and it is because of that judgement that the watcher can understand how deep her devotion to Jess goes.
Rory doesn’t care about the criticisms of family or friends, she only cares to nurture the relationship with the first boy she ever felt truly understood her.
- Team Logan
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Have you even watched the show if you didn’t hate Logan Huntzberger at least a little when he was first introduced? Rory meets Logan while studying at Yale. Gilmore herself is surrounded by friends who have had to work hard for their position at such a prestigious institution.
So, when Rory meets Logan, a snobby rich kid who seems to have just paid his way to the top, she isn’t immediately infatuated.
However, as time passes, Logan grows on Rory similarly to how he grows on watchers. We see that while growing up wealthy, Logan isn’t necessarily just riding the coattails of his father, and he does have his own passions and interests-albiet a little reckless-for example: stealing a yacht.
Logan is the center of what Rory’s grandparents want for their granddaughter, an upper-class socialite who has just enough pull to help Rory get to “the top.” Logan is for the watchers who yearn for emotional stability and adventure in their lives.
They want someone who is able to push their limits and pull them out of their comfort zone. When Rory first arrived at Yale, she was a shy bookworm who rarely left her dorm. After meeting Logan, you begin to see her personality flourish, as she felt seen and heard by someone who isn’t just going to let her lay low.
For all my introverted readers, I know most of you are probably Team Logan. The idea of being with someone who will do everything in their power to help you soar can feel both scary, yet exhilarating.
Logan represents freedom and expression for Rory, a chance for her to step outside conventional expectations and embrace something more spontaneous and out of the box. He often sees Rory’s potential before she fully sees it for herself, and he consistently pushes her beyond her comfort zone in ways that challenge her to grow.
- Team Paul
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Does this ship even exist? Rory couldn’t even remember the existence of her seemingly long-term boyfriend in “Gilmore Girls'” revival, “A Year in the Life,” half the time, but maybe that represents the type of person who would actually support a relationship like this.
I’d have to imagine that Team Paul is for the watchers who appreciate the stability of being in a relationship, but aren’t as into the commitment aspect. Rory is pretty neglectful to Paul throughout his two episode run, and she doesn’t really seem to have any interest in him outside of needing someone to bring to family functions.
They weren’t a good couple, but I think it could be argued that Paul found Rory at a pretty vulnerable stage in her life where she evidently wasn’t adequately prepared to put the work into their relationship. Maybe if Paul finds her at a different life stage they could give love another go, but honestly, for his own sanity, he should probably take a step away from any relations with Miss Gilmore.
- Team Rory
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At the end of the day, I think most people will always agree that the true message the show promotes is that independence and individuality are ok, and it is ok to be team “you.” “Team Rory” is for the watchers who think Rory needs some time to figure herself out.
Rory excelled so significantly as a child that she found herself struggling with the consequences of burnout and over-exertion in her college years. Gilmore was so used to being expected to excel that she wasn’t given much time to find herself, leaving her as a flailing, jobless 30-year-old.
While it’s ok, and for many people helpful, to have that special someone in your life to keep you on the right track, sometimes you need independence to find yourself. “Team Rory” emphasizes individuality, and working to find comfort and happiness outside of the restrictions a relationship can place you in.
All of these teams have their own faults and benefits, and ultimately, there is no one “right” answer as to who Rory should have ended up with. While I found myself supporting different boyfriends in different moments, I am glad the show chose to end with Rory choosing herself.
Although it may have seemed selfish for Rory to end things with her final boyfriend of the series, Logan, especially after his proposal, her decision was ultimately an act of self-awareness rather than rejection.
Logan offered stability, excitement and a shared future, but he also represented a life that required Rory to commit before she had fully explored who she wanted to become. By declining his proposal, she chose uncertainty over comfort and independence over security.
While relationships can be fulfilling and grounding, they should not come at the cost of personal growth. Rory’s decision reinforces the importance of valuing one’s ambitions and passions. Sometimes finding yourself requires stepping away from something good in order to pursue something necessary.