One of my favorite hobbies is creating playlists. I enjoy the idea of having one for every event in my life, every year I age, or every sub-genre I find myself discovering. Within the hundreds I’ve made, my favorite playlist by far is ‘monica,’ a playlist dedicated to songs I feel represent me, Monica, as a person. These songs, though not about me, all mention attributes I find in myself, represent key periods from my life, or are simply songs I hear when I think about my fictional vision board. ‘monica’ is more than a playlist, but a representation of the last 21 years I’ve lived, and eventually the next dozens of years.
Some of the most obvious songs on my playlist represent my physical characteristics. For instance, “dimple” by BTS makes an appearance because I have dimples, much like the song suggests. There are also songs like “Love Lost” by Mac Miller that represent the physical characteristics of me I’ve added to my body, in this instance by tattooing the album cover on my arm. My favorite song in this category, though, is “Dark Circles” by Calum Hood. This song, although not only about one’s dark circles, leaves a lot of relatable quotes about the lack of sleep one gets, which leads to the dark rings under one’s eyes. Usually, when I meet someone, they’re led to believe I’m younger due to my height and generally more youthful appearance, but the second they see my dark circles, people realize I’m actually a lot older than I appear. I also love this song because, as a kid, my baby sister accidentally threw a mug at my under eye, leaving me with a permanent “dark circle” (bruise). This reminds me that, no matter what, I will always have dark circles under my eyes.
A lot of songs in this playlist also represent the city and places I grew up in, both Mexico and the Greater Los Angeles, California area. Like many, the cities and towns I grew up in have shaped me into the person I am today. Vacation Manor’s “Apt. 4” reminds me of my own apartment, the same apartment my parents have lived in since I was born, and the apartment I grew up in until I moved to Berkeley, California, for university. However, the song also reminds me of the times when I get to go back home for break and get to enjoy the company of my family and hometown friends, without the chaos of school. little luna’s “last time” is arguably one of my favorite songs of this whole playlist. With the artist based directly out of Los Angeles, she makes direct quotes to the area that I find relatable, not just to myself, but likely to every LA resident. My favorite, though, is the nod to the Metro, which is Los Angeles’ public transportation system, and one of the only ways I got around the city growing up. Every time I hear the song, I feel taken aback to my younger years, hopping on the Metro with my mom or taking it to and from school every day. To many, the Metro may seem scary, but as someone who grew up taking it, it represents an invisible string between all of LA.
One category that’s a bit more difficult to distinguish is my hidden characteristics, or parts of me people would only know if they knew me on a deeper level, or through my close friends on Instagram. If there’s one song I’d use to describe this category, it would be “Close My Eyes (Live)” by Luke Hemmings. One of my obscure characteristics is my insomnia, or in simpler terms, the act of not being able to sleep or stay asleep. As the title suggests, the song is about the struggle of not wanting to close your eyes out of fear of missing out on future years, forgetting memories, or having to sleep in your own silence. Although the song doesn’t directly tie to insomnia, I find it key to me because it highlights my own struggles with closing my eyes and keeping them closed. On a happier note, this live version of the song was also performed when I saw the artist live, meaning I essentially have backing vocals on the song.
Whether it’s “Busy Woman” by Sabrina Carpenter or Dominic Fike’s “Politics & Violence,” every song on ‘monica’ has a special place in my heart, and my past, present, and future. One of the greatest acts a musician can do, in my opinion, is create music so beautiful and well-crafted that even the average individual can find some way to relate to it, whether it be because they also have a dimple or because of their mutual feelings about public transportation.
Whether it’s “Busy Woman” by Sabrina Carpenter or Dominic Fike’s “Politics & Violence,” every song on ‘monica’ has a special place in my heart, and my past, present and future.
Monica Luna Miguel