For black history month, I always want to spotlight black artists who have left their mark on me. Last year it was Rihanna, this year it is SZA. I have been listening to SZA since the summer of 2019. During this time, I was playing volleyball, having bonfires with my friends, and living the VSCO era of my life.
This was the summer before entering my freshman year of high school. One day, I was watching a YouTube video from Emma Chamberlain. She was singing along to “The Weekend” by SZA. That moment had me hooked. I started to indulge myself with more of her music. I found myself entranced with her album Ctrl. I was impressed how she was able to get features from popular artist as this was her first album that was not an EP.
The song I found myself in the most was “Prom.” This is the fifth song off the album, and little did I know this was the song that would stick with me through the different chapters and lessons in my life over the next seven years.
This song first brought me comfort through the idea of entering high school. This was a major change for my friends and me. All of our classes were going to be more difficult than we were used to. As well, we would all be playing sports at the high school level now and going to Friday Night football games. This was going to be a good change, but an overwhelming one for sure.
I found peace in this song as SZA describes the anxiety that comes from growing up. Specifically in the lyrics “Fearin’ not growin’ up (growin’ up), Keepin’ me up at night (night), Am I doin’ enough? (Enough).” During this time I could barely sleep because, although I was busy and living such a good life. I was also filled with anxiety and scared that I was not taking advantage of all the opportunities I could.
The next part of my life this song resonated with was the end of my junior year of high school. I was 16 and was around three months into my first relationship. I loved my boyfriend dearly. However, he always made me feel like I was always behind him in life.
He began touring colleges before I did, and then asked me why I had not done this yet. He had applied to all of his schools before I had even begun the application process. I was always scared that I was not evolving at the same pace he was. It made me feel horrible about myself. During this time, I began playing this song on repeat. SZA gave me comfort in knowing that I am not alone in feeling this way.
And finally, the exact season this song describes had come in June of 2023. I was a senior getting ready for prom, and two weekends after that I would be graduating from high school. I remember I was shuffling through my music when putting on my prom dress, and this was the song that came on. It felt like a sign.
This was the last major high school event left before I would be starting a new chapter in my life. I lived so much of my life in the moment for the last few months of my senior year that I did not even think about the future.
Today, this song still resonates with me heavily. Every once in a while, I will make the choice to play it. It is a good reminder that I am not behind in life. That I am exactly where I need to be because I still have so much of my life to figure everything that I am unsure of out.
This is helpful because in college, all of my friends are at different places in our lives. Some are in long term relationships with people they are planning a future with, while others are single and are figuring out themselves before they focus on another person. This song has made me feel less alone during the unsure times.
SZA is such an influential musician. She is a black artist whom I take pride in having on my playlist. I would highly recommend listening to “Prom” if you need to feel comfort in being afraid to change. As well, if you have never listened to her, give any of her music a shot, as in my opinion, I do not think she has released a song that I consider “bad.”