Everyone always talks about why you should study abroad, insisting it’ll be the best experience of your life and that no one could possibly regret the decision to go. I’m not here to say that isn’t true and can’t speak on that experience as someone who didn’t study abroad. But if you’re scared you’re missing out, I am, however, here to tell you that I don’t regret my decision to stay in Berkeley, California.
For many semester-system schools, it seems like the majority of people who study abroad do so in the spring semester of their junior year. One year ago today, I struggled with being here when it felt like a large chunk of my class was frolicking around Europe, experiencing something so big and so worthy of great expectations. While they were mapping weekend trips to nearby countries, I was mapping out how I was going to survive another seemingly never-ending midterm season.
People choose not to study abroad for a number of reasons. For me, it was a mix of a few factors. I wanted to go to Italy so I could further immerse myself in the culture of my heritage, but I couldn’t take the right classes for my majors at any of the schools there. It’s hard to justify such a large financial commitment to go somewhere else if my heart wasn’t set on it, especially if it’s a school in a country where I didn’t speak the language. Even when I did consider going to a different country, I was still scared I wouldn’t be able to get classes approved or enroll in classes I needed to double major. But, aside from that, a big reason I chose to stay in Berkeley was because of what I knew I had here: all of my closest friends and a city with a college experience I wanted to further immerse myself in. While the abroad FOMO is real, I was honestly scared I would have FOMO from Berkeley if I left.
Don’t get me wrong, I would’ve loved to have gone abroad if the circumstances had aligned for me. But, looking at how my life played out, I can reflect on the gratitude I have for experiences untethered to expectation. I’m always growing over-excited for big events that should be some of the best experiences of my life. But, when I set these out to be “future highlights” of my life, it strips them of their power to just be what they are. It honestly makes me feel grateful that I don’t have an experience that large to grieve after it’s over (as controversial as this may be).
Sure, if I’d gone abroad, I would’ve gained more than just memories — a new outlook on life and a cultural experience unique to being young and a student — but it would mean I wouldn’t have made all of the smaller memories I’ve had here in the spring. Saying “yes” to smaller experiences and finding joy in the everyday fills my cup just enough. For me, expectation can misguide experiences out of proportion. It’s hard to mourn a small, spontaneous excursion when the nature of it reminds me that there’s so much more of that to come.
I love Berkeley and I’m glad I was able to maximize my time here by staying that semester. From going on runs and taking pictures of pretty houses in the various neighborhoods around me, to going to the library and cafes rather than studying at home, to walking across campus and enjoying the beautiful buildings, I find excitement in the everyday. Sometimes an expensive concert or trip out of the country doesn’t end up being as exciting as a last-minute one-night camping trip to Big Sur or a free concert straight from cheer tryouts with one of my best friends. And so be it!
At the end of the day, going abroad is a personal decision that no one should make you feel bad about. For me, it was a huge financial, academic, and mental commitment I couldn’t make. I’ve found contentment in the way my college experience has fared out so far. I chose to stay in Berkeley and stop setting expectations for big experiences, not out of fear, but out of appreciation for the life I was already building. Fulfillment doesn’t have to come from these larger-than-life experiences; it can live in the everyday, surrounded by people I love in a place that feels full of possibility.