On series three of Love Island, Olivia Attwood said, “At the end of the day, when you were seeing a boy and you get the ick, like it doesn’t go. And it is one of those things, once you’ve got it, you’ve caught it. It’s like, it like takes over your body, and it’s like it’s just ick.” The idea of the ick has been around for years and has never seemed to go away. Everyone knows what it is and has probably felt it at one point or another. The ick is especially big on social media, as it is often talked about on TV and is very prominent on TikTok. So, what is the ick? Why do we get it? And is there a way to prevent it or get over it once it has happened?
The most commonly used definition of the ick is “a term commonly used to describe a sudden feeling of discomfort or repulsion that can arise in the early stages of a romantic relationship. It might manifest as finding small habits or behaviours unattractive, or feeling a general aversion towards the person.” It seems that we sometimes experience a sudden shift in how we view someone after they do something we find embarrassing, repulsive, or even something that randomly bothers us. An example of this could be when someone chews with their mouth open, is rude to others, falls over, or wears clothes that you can’t stand. Once someone has done something like this, it can change how you see them and make you question your future with them. Once you have got the ick, it is often hard to come back from it.
An interesting question is why we get the ick from people. Even people who are married or in relationships may experience the ick. However, the types of things you get the ick from can tell you a lot about yourself. It can be a good opportunity to learn more about yourself and figure out how to get over these feelings. The ick may say a lot about unresolved issues you have, the way you were brought up, or certain needs you look for in a partner. For example, if you are a very clean and neat person, you are likely to get the ick from someone who doesn’t clean their house. These small, cute quirks in the beginning that you choose to ignore can add up and become more irritating, causing the ick to appear. Ignoring the ick is never an option, as it can build up and become much worse in the future. Sometimes, these icks can be a sign of incompatibility and that the relationship is simply not going to work out. Never lower your standards just to try to get over the ick.
The ick is a common experience that many people encounter in romantic relationships, especially in the early stages. As discussed, it is often triggered by small habits or behaviours that suddenly change how we view someone, and it can be difficult to ignore once it appears. However, it is worth being patient and allowing time to see how things play out, as the ickmay be influenced by external factors such as stress at work, lack of sleep, or simply having a bad day. To truly get over the ick, it is important to understand where it originated from and reflect on whether it is rooted in personal insecurities, cultural norms, or even a projection of our own shame. Sometimes, feelings of embarrassment or fear of how others may perceive us can reduce excitement in a relationship. While some icks can signal incompatibility, others offer an opportunity for self-reflection and growth. Ultimately, listening to your gut while remaining honest with yourself is key when deciding how to move forward.