The first time I realized my parents grew up in a completely different world than I did wasn’t during a history lesson, but during a casual conversation at home. I asked them what their childhood was like, and their answers made me rethink everything I thought I knew about independence, parenting, and growing up. One of my favorite conversations to have with my parents is asking how their childhood shaped the way they raised me. I realized that the parents raising kids today were once kids themselves, but in a completely different world.
When my parents talk about growing up, their stories are filled with freedom. They describe a childhood where kids spent most of their time outside, parents trusted them to figure things out on their own, and independence wasn’t something you had to earn. Adults used to get ads on their TV reminding them to check on their kids.
Back then, kids spent hours outside without constant supervision, and parents trusted them to navigate everyday situations. Boredom meant finding something to do, not something to scroll, and mistakes were encouraged to help kids learn.
Today, childhood looks very different. Kids are more supervised, more scheduled, and more connected than ever. Parenting has shifted, but not without reason. Those parents realized that the freedom they experienced might have been too much. As much as they learned, some of the things they did, they hope their kids won’t be doing. Especially with technology, communication and constant check-ins are easier than ever. In addition, although independence is encouraged, it is often with limits.
What makes this shift so interesting is that it exists because of the past, not despite it. Parents today raise their kids through the lens of their own childhoods. They remember the freedom they had, the risks they took, and the moments they had to figure things out alone. Those memories shape how present and protective they choose to be now.
At the same time, many parents still try to pass down the independence they valued as kids. They encourage confidence, resilience, and responsibility, even if the world makes it harder to give children the same freedom they once had. Talking with my parents has helped me understand that parenting isn’t about choosing between then and now. It’s about balancing both. These conversations have made me think about how our generation will one day be parents too. We will raise children based on the world we grew up in, just like our parents did. And maybe the goal isn’t to recreate the past or control the future, but to find a balance that lets kids feel both supported and capable as they learn how to navigate the world on their own.