I’m my friends’ biggest fan, and that goes deeper than liking their Instagram posts and commenting on their TikToks. I would do anything for them, and if they go down, I would too. My friends’ growth is my growth too, and I’ll celebrate their wins before they even have a second to.Â
What Being Their Biggest Fan Looks Like
Often in female friendships, we tend to see other women as competitors rather than companions. Being a big fan of your friend is turning jealousy into support, and learning that a success for someone else is not a loss for yourself. Today’s media thrives on comparison. Your best friend shouldn’t be someone you want to be better or more successful than, but someone that you want to survive through the lows with, and enjoy the highs with, like they are your own. Your friendships should be your safe space.
For me, being their biggest fan means creating a constant positive and happy atmosphere with an equal amount of hype. It means showing your pride for both big and small successes. Your friend gets an internship? Congratulate them on LinkedIn and with their favorite drink next time you see them, or maybe even just say, “I’m proud of you” and give them a hug. They get a B on an exam they thought they were going to fail? They’re now the smartest person that you know and they deserve to know that. Being their biggest fan means showing up when they need you, and being there even when they don’t ask you to. We all know that there will be a time when they don’t ask for help but need it. It’s important to always keep an eye out for your friends so you can see their moments of struggle. It means being honest and communicative always, especially when it is hard to.Â
Positivity and celebration are not the only aspects of a healthy friendship. Showing that you care even when it’s not a big deal is just as important. Text them good luck before a stressful event, such as a quiz or presentation. Tell them that you see them for who they are and for how they try.Â
Why It Matters
Girlhood is one of the most essential parts of life as a woman. Creating connections, deepening bonds, and finding lifelong friends are all things you may encounter in college. College is one of the most important times in life to have a support system and rely on platonic, but deep love. Â
I couldn’t imagine trying to walk through this stressful and lonely road without my best girl friends with me, and I know they feel the same way about me. College is the peak time for plummeting mental health, loneliness, social comparison, insecurities, and change. Pushing all these hardships together creates a mass of disaster, and having friends to lean on, trust, and feel supported through is crucial to a happy experience in your four years. In moments where you feel like you are drowning, a quick chat, meal, or dance party with a friend can be the most healing part of your day.
Support Comes Full Circle
Being a supportive and loving friend should never drain you, and if it does, you are looking for love in a place you are not meant to find it. When you find the right people, your cup fills itself. Loving people loudly and unconditionally is good for the soul. In my female friendships, I get the most out when I put an equal amount in. Support and love go both ways; it takes two to tango in a well-balanced friendship. When a friendship encounters an imbalance, it can become toxic. It’s key to stay communicative with the people you love, and make sure that you stay on the same page.Â
Your friends should be your number one support system in life, next to your family, so treat them like it. Every person deserves to know what a true, loving, and fulfilling female friendship should feel like, and none of us should be shy about it.Â
The Difference Being Supportive Has Made So Far
As someone who went to a relatively small high school, coming to the University of Connecticut gave me an entirely new slate to work with. I just wanted to put all high school drama behind me, including anything that didn’t feel genuine. I’ve sought out friendships that were going to fulfill me the most that they could, and created a circle of love and wholesome girl-to-girl friendship.
Already, within the semester and a half of being at UConn, I’ve felt more loved and valued than I did in all of my four years of high school. This is because of the people that I’ve surrounded myself with, and how I’ve shown my own love for them. When I become their biggest fan, they reciprocate by becoming mine. This creates a cycle of love and support, which I’ve needed every single day that I’ve been here. I’ve found that by actively putting energy into my friendships, I get a good outcome. Putting in energy doesn’t always have to look like a lot — it can truly be as simple as a quick dining hall meal, or as my friends and I like to call it, “family dinner.” Even just going for a walk with a friend or a study date in the library is a fun way to stay involved with your friends.
One of my earliest, happiest memories here was during the warmer months when a friend and I went on a walk during sunset to Horsebarn Hill. I was originally just going to go alone, but upon bringing it up, she offered to go with me. We ended up sitting and talking long past the sunset, and that one hangout created a strong bond between the two of us. I would most definitely consider myself a huge fan of hers now. It felt like someone had genuinely wanted to spend time and get to know me, showing that even a small act of support can go a long way.
Overall, the best friendships blossom if you have a mutual passion for each other. The most fulfilling love will come from the best effort you put in.