This edition of Ask Her is written entirely by our new writers on the team this semester! Here’s what they had to say about the questions you’ve been sending in.
20TH EDITION
“What is your advice on experiencing rejection? I feel like I have been putting myself out there more lately and have been getting rejected more.”
Rejection is always something tough to deal with. It’s normal to feel sad, but don’t let that one rejection define you. A lot of times, rejection is redirection. It can be discouraging to get rejected, whether it be from a potential love interest or a job, but it is important not to let it bring you down for too long, because if you keep moving forward, then you might come across a better opportunity in the end. If putting yourself out there feels like too much, take a break and focus on yourself. It takes time, but all good things take time.
-Fernanda Sauceda, HC Contributor
“I LOVE my roommate’s kitties, but they make our apartment STINK. For reference, I’m a bit of a clean freak and I’ve tried having a conversation with her about cleaning, but the smell just lingers…. AND I HATE IT! What do I do?”
It’s your lucky day because I, too, have a sensitivity to scents! My first instinct would be to ask if your living situation has access to some sort of outdoor space like a balcony/patio for the litter and other smelly sources (i.e, refill litter/food storage). If there’s no outdoor area, suggest keeping the litter and/or cats themselves relegated to her personal area, like the bedroom or bathroom. Most bathrooms have a ventilation switch for shower steam, and it can be a great tool for odor control, too. However, if those are not viable options for you, it’s important to remember you both are grown women; you have the right to make serious requests/boundaries about your own home, she can handle constructive criticism (especially when it’s in regards to cleanliness), and you both can come to a compromise like the mature ladies you are. I know people can be a bit defensive when it comes to their furry friends, so assure her you love the kitties regardless, but the price of their cuteness shouldn’t come at the cost of either one of y’all’s comfort!
Use your voice, find common ground, and love those kittens to death <3
-Daniela Urrutia, HC Contributor
“A lot of my friends are super outgoing and social and can easily talk to people when we go out. But I just have a hard time talking to people if it’s not someone I click with instantly and vibe with. I feel like some people think I come across as unapproachable, but I just have a hard time and am always just standing in silence, while it seems so easy for my friends to do so. What should I do?”
Sometimes you have to put yourself out there and step out of your comfort zone, even if it feels weird or awkward at times. It’s important to remember that everyone likes different things, and it’s okay if you prefer to stay with your group of people for the night or do something different from your friends in general. But if you would like to get out of your comfort zone, we like to give compliments about someone’s outfit, hair, makeup, or maybe a pin or sticker they have on their bag or laptop. If you hear something being talked about that you can relate to or know about, pitch in a little, even if it’s something small. Remember, everyone around you is also trying to have a good night, nobody will judge you for giving a compliment or trying to start a conversation, and if they do then that’s not your fault! It might feel awkward at first ,but never push yourself into something that’s too uncomfortable, and it will get easier as you figure out what feels true to you. Just be yourself and try your best!
-Amanda Fuentes & Caitlyn Rodriguez, HC Contributors
“What are your thoughts on platonic girl and guy friendships? Are they a call for disaster?”
I know some people think that guys and girls can’t be “just friends,” but personally, I think the opposite. My guy friends give me great advice and perspective when it comes to problems with relationships, and life issues and vice versa; we’re always here to help each other out. I’ve witnessed/experienced opposite gender friendships that really are just platonic with no other intention, and it truly is like one big beautiful community. Although platonic relationships work for me sometimes, they need to be handled with caution, as they don’t work for a lot of people. However, with the right people, it can totally work out and be the best thing anyone could experience!
-Courtney Nguyen, HC Contributor