There should honestly be a handbook handed out to us when we start college during orientation week titled “How to Be a Girl’s Girl 101.” It would include chapters like bathroom compliments, emergency emotional support, and the ethical sharing of phone chargers. But unfortunately, since there’s no such handbook, college women learn the rules the organic way; with the help of late-night conversations, shared glances in crowded rooms, and the quiet understanding that we are all just trying to get through this together.
No one’s ever going to come and explicitly explain the girl code. You just absorb it. And once you do, you carry it everywhere: into dorms, classrooms, parties, libraries, and group chats that somehow become lifelines. At its core, the unspoken girl code is simple: we look out for each other no matter what.Â
One of the first lessons shows up in the most unexpected place—the bathroom. Whether it’s at a campus event, a party, or a restaurant off campus, the women’s bathroom often turns into a temporary support group. It’s also a place where strangers hype each other up with the enthusiasm of lifelong friends. Compliments come fast and genuine: “You look so good.” “I love your outfit.” “Your eyeliner is perfect.” For a few minutes, the outside world fades, and it’s just a circle of women boosting each other’s confidence. Negativity has no place there. The bathroom is sacred ground.
The girl code also lives in the small, practical acts of care that make daily life easier. If you carry an iPhone charger in your bag, you already know it’s not really yours, as it belongs to the community. The same goes for hair ties, lip gloss, safety pins, and that emergency tampon you didn’t think you’d need but packed anyway. When another woman asks, you help. No questions, no hesitation. It seems as if there is an unspoken understanding that everyone will have their moment of need, and generosity now means support later.
Beyond convenience, the girl code is also about protection. If someone gives off bad vibes or has a reputation for treating women poorly, word travels, and it is not loud or dramatic, but careful. It often starts with a quiet, “Hey, just so you know…” or “I don’t love how he talks to girls.” This isn’t gossip for entertainment. It’s information shared with intention. Women look out for each other in ways that aren’t always visible but are deeply felt. Group chats double as safety networks, where location sharing and check-in texts are standard practice.
Emotional support is another cornerstone of the code. College is a mix of high highs and low lows: failed exams, confusing relationships, homesickness, and the constant pressure to have everything figured out. When one person is spiraling, others step in. Someone shows up with snacks and a tub of ice cream and forces you to watch a funny movie with you. Someone else brings a blanket. Another sits on the floor and listens while tears fall. There is no official schedule for care; people just know when they’re needed. Even in the middle of packed calendars and looming deadlines, women make space for each other’s feelings.
The code extends to celebration, too. Achievements, big or small, are rarely acknowledged alone. Landed an internship? Your friends are louder than you are about it. Passed a class you thought would end you? That’s dessert-worthy. Finally blocked the person who’s been stressing you out for months? That calls for a girls’ night. Happiness is amplified in such a community.
That’s why holidays like Galentine’s Day and Women’s Day resonate so strongly on college campuses. While Valentine’s Day often centers on romantic relationships, Galentine’s Day flips the focus to friendship. It’s an excuse, not that one is needed, to celebrate the women who sat through your overthinking, hyped you up before presentations, and stayed on FaceTime while you walked home at night. It’s matching pajamas in a dorm room, heart-shaped snacks from the grocery store, and handwritten notes that say, “I’m really glad we met.” Or dressing up, going out, and having the best meal of our lives. In a time of life that can feel unstable and transitional, these friendships offer something steady.Â
Even something as simple as taking photos reflects the girl code in action. There is no such thing as “just one picture.” Photos are retaken until everyone feels good about how they look. Friends fix each other’s hair, adjust angles, and offer gentle approval before anything gets posted. No one is left out, and no one is uploaded mid-blink without consent. It’s a small ritual, but it sends a bigger message: how you feel about yourself matters.
Perhaps the clearest expression of the girl code comes at the end of a night out. No one leaves alone. Locations are shared. Texts that say “Home?” are sent and answered. Even if two people just met that evening, there is a sense of responsibility that kicks in. Safety is collective.
College can be chaotic, overwhelming, and, at times, lonely. But the unspoken girl code softens the edges. Galentine’s celebrations remind women that they are never navigating this chapter alone.
There may not be a handbook, but there doesn’t need to be. The rules are learned through experience, carried through friendship, and passed along in the simplest ways: “Text me when you get home,” “You look amazing,” and “I’ve got you.” So go out there, make the most of it, and be grateful for the girls who make college feel a little less overwhelming and a lot more like home.