Anyone who knows me has probably also heard the name “Mincher” at least once or twice, been in the car for a quick call, or seen a text or snap from my boyfriend. John Mincher, my boyfriend, attends college at SUNY Oswego, a good three hours away from Bonaventure; at our closest, we are a 45-minute drive apart, which the internet tends to label as a “medium distance” relationship.Â
Since Valentine’s Day brings about a focus on various forms of love, I wanted to count my glorious top three “relationship hot takes”.Â
Falling asleep and movies on the phoneÂ
I hate it. It feels too middle school couple-y to fall asleep on the phone together or watch a movie on the phone together. The privilege of being medium distance gives me the power to rather wait until the movie comes out on streaming or drive the 45 minutes to three hours to be with my boyfriend in person to watch the show or movie. Plus, the lag of a movie kills me, I have too vivid reactions and babble too much to sit through a whole movie with my boyfriend on the phone. Falling asleep on the phone gives me a creepy watching you while you sleep feeling alongside my ability to want to talk while I’m on the phone with someone else especially if they’re farther away. It’s just not my vibe. It works for some couples and people, but I would really have to be forced into it to implement either one of these things.Â
The love “spark”
It doesn’t exist on your first encounter or maybe even second. I’m sorry you’re not going to have the perfect kiss that makes the firework scene instantly go off in the background from the first kiss. That’s not to say sparks when you’re in love don’t exist, just that I believe the spark grows from a mixture of factors when you are in a relationship. The spark exists because you’ve built up a meaningful and valuable relationship, not just because you want to have a relationship with someone.Â
“You change when you get into a relationship”Â
Not all change is bad. I’ve been told a variety of things about myself from friends and “friends” that alluded to some change within myself when I started dating my boyfriend. You can balance who you keep in your life. The only change anyone outside of myself has noticed is an increased confidence in myself and the ability to stand up for myself. My boyfriend is someone who is very encouraging and allows me to open up and feel comfortable being myself, which is the way a significant other should affect how you change when you get into a relationship.Â
Ultimately, you know you best; these are just my “hot takes” based on my personal experiences. Relationships of all kinds can be messy, beautiful, chaotic, and never fully identical between people. Whether you have a significant other or not, I hope you are able to celebrate Valentine’s Day with the people you love (that includes the relationship you have with yourself)! Happy Valentine’s Day Weekend!
<3 from Ella