“I wish I could learn to ice skate, but it’s way too late for me to be any good at it.” These are the words that I found myself saying last weekend while watching Amber Glenn take the ice at the Olympics. And I am willing to bet that you have found yourself saying the same—maybe not about ice skating, but about art, or dancing, or playing a sport. Almost every single person I have ever met has a skill they’ve always wanted to learn but never begin pursuing because they feel it is ‘too late.’ But why is that the case? And how can we start to overcome it?
Throughout the last decade, perfectionism has been on a rapid rise in teens and young adults across America. On a college campus, for example, a grand majority of students are prone to referring to themselves as perfectionists or admit to having some perfectionistic tendencies. While perfectionism might seem like a helpful motivation for growth, it is actually the exact thing that holds you back.
Almost always, the pursuit of perfection is inextricable from a persistent and overwhelming fear of failure. And when you are afraid of failure, you are significantly less likely to try new things. From a very young age, we as students are expected to make major decisions about our lives: where to go to college, what you want to do for your job, etc. This constant pressure to make and stand by major decisions leads to a very narrow field of pursuit. People are driven to stick to what they are good at and never stray far from them. As we grow older, too, we become more and more afraid of trying new things. Instead of pursuing new things, we are more likely to wallow in regret, wishing that we had begun those pursuits sooner and claiming that it is ‘too late to start now.’
But who decides when it is too late to start something? You do! The only way to start something is by starting it (a statement which seems obvious and easy, but proves itself to be rather difficult in practice). As perfectionists, we find it much safer to lay in bed and dream about a version of ourselves that pursued the thing we are dreaming of.
To overcome this—to start doing, rather than just dreaming—we have to accept the simple truth that we are going to be bad at things, especially when starting out. We have to relearn the ability to find joy in the process of learning, not just the finished product. And this is an extremely hard thing to do, especially after a life spent believing that you are only worth your grades, or your contribution to society. Perfectionism is, in my opinion, one of the hardest things to unlearn, but also one of the most rewarding. After all, isn’t it better to be bad at something and learn instead of staring at your wall and thinking about what could have been?
This is all to say, it is never too late to start a hobby. Be bad at things. Sing poorly, draw stick figures, dance terribly—there’s no rule saying that you have to be good at something to find joy in it. We are only getting older, and if we do not seize the opportunity while we can, one day it might truly be too late to try.
In case you were wondering, I did go ice skating. I almost fell more times than I could count, spent more time hanging onto the wall than standing on my own two feet, and got lapped by several small children, but I still had a great time. I will never be as good as Amber Glenn, but I can still find joy in stumbling around, learning, and having fun—and you can too!
