Valentine’s Day in college can be…a lot. It’s not bad, it’s not amazing, it’s just different. Whether you’re in a relationship, freshly single, deep in a situationship, or probably independent, February 14th on a college campus feels like its own strange little universe.
It’s not like Valentine’s Day in high school, and it definitely doesn’t feel like whatever adult Valentine’s Day is supposed to be. Somehow, college makes it more emotional, more awkward, more fun, and more confusing all at once.
First of all, there’s no avoiding it. In college, Valentine’s Day is everywhere. The second February hits, campuses turn pink and red.
Dining halls roll out heart-shaped foods, student organizations start tabling with candy grams, and your social media feed becomes a highlight reel of roses, teddy bears, and soft-launch captions.
Even if you’re not thinking about Valentine’s Day, it will absolutely find you. There’s something about being surrounded by thousands of people your age that makes comparison way too easy.
Relationships, Situationships, and the Pressure to Define Things
Relationships also feel more intense in college, making Valentine’s Day feel higher stakes. You’re not just asking, “Do we exchange gifts?” You’re asking, “What are we?” Is this person your valentine, or are you pretending the day doesn’t exist so no one gets their feelings hurt?
Carlos Mendez discusses how Valentine’s Day can heighten emotional vulnerability, as students feel “pressure to demonstrate their affection publicly,” even when they’re unsure where they stand. This heightens uncertainty and vulnerability.
College is full of undefined relationships, and Valentine’s Day has a way of forcing those conversations or avoiding them loudly. Suddenly, a flower bouquet feels like a public statement instead of a sweet gesture.
On the flip side, being single in college on Valentine’s Day isn’t necessarily sad; it’s just complicated. Some years, it feels empowering. You’re with your friends, laughing, making plans, maybe even celebrating Galentine’s with snacks and rom-coms from the early 2000s.
Other years, it hits differently. Maybe you just got out of a relationship, or maybe you’re watching everyone else pair off while you’re still figuring yourself out. College is already a time of transition, and Valentine’s Day can amplify feelings you didn’t even realize you were carrying.
Redefining Love During a Temporary Chapter
Valentine’s Day in college can also feel different because of money– or the lack of it. Most college students aren’t booking fancy dinners or weekend getaways. Romance can look more like target runs, handwritten notes, Trader Joe’s flowers, or splitting a meal at a really nice restaurant.
There’s something very sweet about less money and more quality time. Valentine’s Day becomes less about grand gestures and more about effort, which, in my opinion, feels more genuine.
Kyle Benson, a couples and sex therapist, mentions how “a no-effort relationship is not a great relationship; it’s a doomed relationship. It takes effort to communicate and understand each other.”
Having Independence in Relationships
And there’s also the independence factor. For a lot of us, college is the first time Valentine’s Day isn’t influenced by parents, school dances, or certain expectations. You get to decide what the day means to you.
Maybe it’s about a partner, maybe it’s about friends, or maybe it’s about treating yourself after a long week of classes. You’re given the freedom to redefine love on your own terms, and that’s the amazing part.
At the same time, it can be emotional because everything feels temporary. People graduate, schedules change, and life moves fast. That can make moments feel more meaningful but also more fragile.
A Valentine’s Day memory in college might feel special because you know it’s tied to a specific season of your life that won’t last forever.
Ultimately, Valentine’s Day in college hits different because college hits different. We’re growing, changing, learning who you are, and figuring out what love looks like for you, romantic or not.
Whether you spend the day with a partner, your friends, or yourself, it’s just another reminder that love isn’t one-size-fits-all, especially in this chapter of our lives.
Whether you’re celebrating with a partner, your best friends, or just yourself this Valentine’s Day, remember there’s no “right” way to do it. However you spend the day, let it feel true to you.
How does Valentine’s Day look for you on campus? Are you team Galentine’s, date night, or self-love? Let us know @HerCampusSJSU!