The summer before college, I constantly thought about the friendships I would make there. I dreamed of having a group of girls to do everything with and I was convinced that after the mess that high school was, it would finally be my time to experience what it was like to have a bunch of girlfriends. When I got to campus, I very quickly realized that my dreams of that kind of friendship were nothing more than dreams. At first I was crushed, but then something happened.
My parents and I were in Walmart doing some last minute shopping, when all of a sudden, I spotted the girl I had been talking to on social media for months prior. We immediately ran up to each other and hugged, and when the hug finally broke, my step mom asked me if I knew the girl before coming to St. Bonaventure. I told her that this was my first time meeting Clare. I briefly chatted with her and then we both went back to shopping. Later on that night at the Candlelight Ceremony, I hugged my parents goodbye and looked around feeling overcome with sadness. I felt lost in the sea of college students surrounding me, until I made eye contact with Clare. She didn’t hesitate to hug and comfort me, even though she barely knew me. And that pretty much sums up my friendship with Clare.Â
I always convinced myself that there was something wrong with me because I never attracted large groups of friends. I was pretty successful at having a few best friends, but somehow when I looked around, it didn’t feel like success. It felt like I was missing out on what it was really like to be a social teenager. Isn’t that what society tells us? If we aren’t popular and we don’t have a lot of friends, then we’re somehow failing. But that’s just not the case. There’s something to be said about keeping your circle small and being selective with your friends. There is power in having a few close friends and keeping others at a distance. After all, you become who you surround yourself with, so choose wisely.
When I was first struggling with this idea of friendships in college, I watched a lot of videos on TikTok trying to find comfort. The one piece of advice that I’ll never forget was to just find one person to get you through. That’s exactly what I did, and it worked out pretty well for me. I hope that everyone finds their Clare – the type of person that hugs you like they’ve known you for forever even though they just met you for the first time at the grocery store, someone who sees you for who you truly are, and a friend that never lets you go through it alone. You don’t need a ton of friends to have a good college experience, but I sincerely hope that everyone finds one good friend, because it can change everything. Â