For starters: Happy Valentine’s Day.
For the first time in four years, I will be celebrating Valentine’s Day with a significant other. Growing up, I was the kid who got Valentine’s Day gifts from her parents before school. As I started to date when I got to high school, my dreams of a true Valentine’s Day were shattered. It’s been a while since my last “true” Valentine’s Day, and I am so excited about it that it’s hard to form words for my emotions surrounding it. I literally cannot stop giggling with excitement every time I realize I get a real Valentine’s Day this year.
However, the pressure is on. It’s our first Valentine’s Day together.
There is one thing I have realized: it’s not all about gifts. In our capitalist society, gifts are a huge part of any holiday. Christmas is centered around gifts, Easter has gifts involved, and Valentine’s Day isn’t so innocent either. Gifts on Valentine’s Day seem like a huge deal. I understand why it’s a huge deal; it shows your love for the person through materials that relate to your love.
I just don’t understand why there’s so much pressure around it. Social media seems to be the biggest contender to this stress. There are Pinterest boards for “inspiration” as to what to get your boyfriend, or the occasional “What I Got My Boyfriend for Valentine’s Day” TikTok. I shouldn’t be saying “occasional.” There are so many of them that it screws with my algorithm if I look up one.
As I was watching these or scrolling through the articles, I started to get scared. I already knew that he was going to be sweet with his gifts; he was with Christmas. The panic of letting him down was setting in fast.
What if he doesn’t like what I got him? I made him something, but what if he hates it? What if my gifts don’t seem as sentimental as his? And the list goes on. Then I realized that gifts aren’t the point of this holiday. The point of this holiday is to celebrate our love for each other. That is our plan for this weekend — just spending time with each other and celebrating our love.
There’s also the realization that we are still very early in our relationship. We just celebrated six months together; we’re still in the early stages of establishing personal and sentimental things in our relationship. Inside jokes are still forming, and we haven’t truly started any traditions yet.
But it’s not that the gifts don’t matter — it’s that they can’t mean everything yet.
I understand why this year is so stressful. We’re setting a precedent for the future Valentine’s Days we are going to be spending together. Instead of setting a costly expectation or performative romance standards, we’re setting one of communication, presence, and mutual understanding.
Plus, who really needs gifts? I’m in love with this holiday for so many different reasons that don’t involve material aspects. I love this holiday because I feel loved. My boyfriend has done this for the past 196 dayswithout hesitation. But the feeling of being prioritized and knowing someone wants to spend the day with me makes my heart flutter more than chocolates and flowers would.