Cher had it right when she said, “men are dessert”. We might like it – we might even love it – but we definitely don’t need it. This has been true for decades but is perhaps a more recognized fact of life nowadays thanks to the increasing liberation of women. In a viral article written for Vogue titled ‘Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?’, Chante Joseph unpacks the ideologies that permeate society regarding the necessity – or rather the lack thereof – for women to have a boyfriend. The essential takeaway, is that in an age where women can live independently and don’t require a man, settling for the bare minimum or fulfilling historic heteronormative expectations out of some perceived need to do so, is more embarrassing than embracing the freedom of being a single woman.
With that in mind, there’s no reason Valentine’s Day must make you nauseous just because your single. It’s a holiday about celebrating love, and there’s far more to love in this life than men. The ancient Greeks actually proposed that there are 7 types of love, among which Philia – arising out of a deep, enduring friendship – is supposedly sometimes stronger than that which is romantic. Some of the most fulfilling relationships in our lives are the ones had with our friends, and I for one would rather spend my Valentines celebrating that as opposed to sulking in the depths of my singleness.
This year, the girls and I are turning valentines into a 3-day galantines celebration. It may sound like a lot, but so is the amount of money women spend on boyfriends who do the bare minimum. Day one will entail our night out at the club. If we leave our dignity on the dancefloor, at least we’ll have fun doing it. Day two will be our slightly more low-key night in town watching the new ‘Wuthering Heights’ film, followed by a dinner and cocktails – after all, who needs actual sex on the beach when you can just drink one at the bar with the girls? Then for the big event, we’ll be flying off to Puerto Rico on the final day (this wasn’t actually intended as a galantines activity, but it turns out plane tickets are conveniently cheap on the 14th).
Of course, a three-day galentines celebration is by no means something you must do, but doing something to celebrate the loving friendships in your life should really be just as important as celebrating the romantic ones. Whether that be a holiday, a night out, or a cozy movie night, recognizing the joy that your friends bring you is so important. For those who do have boyfriends, galentines can just as easily be celebrated on the 13th; and for any girls who may be the only single one in the group, turn the 14th into a day of self-care that celebrates the love you have for you.
The overarching point is that Valentines Day should not be about men, it should be about love, and as such, it is a holiday for the single girls as much as it is for couples. So stop wallowing in self-pity, make some plans, and if in doubt, listen to some Sabrina Carpenter – she has a knack for finding innovative ways to call men stupid.