Growing Without Growing Apart

I don’t know if it’s just me, but there’s a particular kind of homesickness that hits when I’m away at college. Not the dramatic, crying-on-Facetime kind. Just the random wave where you’re like, “I miss being known”. Not just home, not just my room, but the people who knew me before this version of me existed.

I’ve been listening to Olivia Dean’s “I’ve Seen It” a lot recently, and there’s something about it that feels so fitting for this stage of life. She sings about seeing love everywhere – after school, on the tube, around the table with friends – watching it bloom, waver, and grow old. And I realized that’s exactly what university has made me notice about friendship. You start seeing it everywhere, too. 

You see it in the childhood best friend who has witnessed it all. The awkward phases, the school drama, the moves between countries and schools. The one you can talk to for five minutes, and suddenly you feel like you’re twelve, making musical.lys again. 

You also see it in the friends you made the first time you were away from home alone. The one who made a completely unfamiliar place feel safe just because you found similarities in each other. This kind of friendship reminds you that even when you’re out of your comfort zone, you’re never completely alone 

And then you see it in the unexpected friendships, the ones that start so randomly. A message or mutual connection somehow turns a small interaction into daily 8-hour FaceTime calls. The kind of friend who grows alongside you in this chapter of your life, even if they’re not physically present. 

Long-distance friendships are weird like that. They don’t always answer when you call, life gets busy, and time zones get frustrating. Yet those friendships stretch and grow, showing up in quick voice notes, unexpected tests, and little ‘I saw this and thought of you’ moments. That’s why they hit harder when you’re away at uni. When you’re constantly becoming someone new, it’s comforting to have people who’ve seen you at every stage and who still choose to see you now.

University makes you independent. You also find friends for life all around you. But it also makes you realize how much of you exists in other people’s memories, some of them in shared jokes, old photos, random summer programs, childhood afternoons, and late-night calls from different cities. You don’t just miss home, you miss all these little moments where you have felt so seen. 

And maybe that’s the beauty of these friendships. As Olivia Dean sings, we’re not supposed to understand it all. But we see it and feel it in different forms and at different times. 

If you’re feeling that quiet homesickness right now, maybe it’s not about going back. It’s just about remembering the people who’ve known you in different seasons of your life are still out there holding those versions of you. Distance doesn’t erase that; it simply stretches it. 

• college
• friends
• friendships
• growing up
• lifestyle
• love