Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
couple sitting near trees during golden hour
couple sitting near trees during golden hour
Photo by Khamkéo Vilaysing from Unsplash
WVU | Wellness > Sex + Relationships

SITUATIONSHIPS VS. RELATIONSHIPS: HOW TO TELL WHAT YOU ARE IN

Moriah McBride Student Contributor, West Virginia University
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at WVU chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

Modern dating has introduced a lot of gray areas, and one of the most confusing is the situationship. It can look like a relationship, feel like a relationship, and unfortunately, still not actually be one. If you’ve ever wondered where you stand with someone, you’re not alone. Understanding the difference between a situationship and a relationship can help you protect your time, emotions, and expectations.

What Is A Situationsip?

A situationship is an undefined romantic or emotional connection. There’s chemistry and closeness, but no clear commitment or label. 

  • Common signs of a situationship include:
    • You haven’t had a conversation about what you are
    • Plans are mostly last-minute or based on convenience
    • You don’t know where you stand long-term
    • Effort feels inconsistent
    • You feel unsure about bringing up your thoughts and needs because you don’t want to scare them off

Situationships often continue because they’re comfortable, but comfort isn’t the same as clarity

What Is A Relationship?

A relationship has mutual understanding, intention, and commitment. It doesn’t have to be perfect or intense, but both people know what they’re building together.

  • Common signs of a relationship include:
    • You’ve talked about exclusivity or commitment
    • There’s consistency in communication and effort
    • You feel secure asking questions or expressing needs
    • You’re included in each other’s lives (friends, plans, priorities)
    • Both people are clear about expectations

Relationships are defined not by constant excitement, but by reliability and respect.

Key Differences at a Glance

Situationship Relationship
Undefined  Clearly Discussed 
Inconsistent Effort Consistant Effort
Avoids Labels Embraces Clarity
Creates Confusion Creates Security
One or Both People are Unsure Both People are Aligned on the Same Page
Chart created by Moriah McBride to illustrate the defining contrasts between situationships and committed relationships.

How to Tell What You’re In

  • Ask yourself these questions honestly:
    • Do I feel calm or anxious about where we stand?
    • Have we talked about what this is—or avoided it?
    • Do their actions match their words?
    • Am I settling for uncertainty because I hope it will turn into more?

Your emotional experience is a clue. Feeling constantly confused or second-guessing usually signals a situationship.

Final Thoughts

Situationships aren’t always bad, but they can become painful when one person wants more and the other won’t commit. The lack of clarity often leads to overthinking, mixed signals and unmet expectations.

It’s okay to want something defined. Wanting commitment doesn’t make you needy—it makes you honest.

What you can do: 

  • Have the conversation → Clarity is better than guessing.
  • Pay attention to actions → Consistency matters more than promises.
  • Know your boundaries → Decide how long you’re willing to stay unclear.
  • Choose yourself → If something causes more stress than joy, don’t ignore that.

Situationships thrive in uncertainty, relationships grow in clarity. You deserve to know where you stand and to feel secure in your connections.

If someone values you, they won’t keep you guessing.

Moriah McBride

WVU '27

Moriah McBride is an undergraduate student double majoring in criminology and psychology, with minors in forensics and addiction studies. Her academic work focuses on understanding human behavior within legal, clinical, and social contexts, with particular attention to crime, substance use, and mental health. Through her coursework, Moriah has developed strong skills in research analysis, critical thinking, and APA-style academic writing. Her studies integrate psychological theory with criminological perspectives, allowing her to examine how individual behavior, social structures, and systemic factors intersect within the criminal justice and mental health systems.

In addition to her academic background, Moriah has completed applied and experiential learning projects related to forensic investigation, addiction prevention, and recovery models. She has engaged in coursework examining forensic science, investigative processes, ethics, bias, and professional roles within the legal system. Her work in addiction studies has included critical reflections on substance use, abstinence-based projects, and prevention strategies, which have strengthened her understanding of evidence-based approaches to treatment and harm reduction. These experiences have reinforced her interest in prevention-focused and ethically informed practices when working with justice-involved or at-risk populations.

Outside of academics, Moriah is interested in learning more about human behavior, personal growth, and building meaningful connections with others. She values empathy, honesty, and resilience, and strives to apply these qualities in both her academic and personal life. As she continues her education, Moriah aims to pursue work that bridges criminology, psychology, forensics, and addiction studies to support individuals and communities through informed, compassionate, and research-driven approaches.