As a serious lover girl, Valentine’s Day has been one of my lifelong true loves. It is my all-time favorite holiday.
However, despite loving it so much, my being a lover girl often restricts my enjoyment of it. Yes, I can still savor the loveliness of the pinks and the heart decor and some of the greatest holiday-themed candy, but the love is what gets me.
When I was younger, I was perfectly entranced by going downstairs and seeing the gifts my dad left on the counter for me. I believed Cupid visited during the night to give me good dreams (and bring me true love), and that homemade classroom mailboxes for sharing cards could save the world. That my prince was somewhere far away, preparing to show up someday and make the holiday perfect.
As I age, I obviously don’t think such blind foolish things, and instead I find myself yearning for the Valentine’s that felt promised to me. I’m still waiting for this supposedly perfect, romantic day where the lover girls of the world finally experience their ever-flowing dreams of the heart coming true.
Obviously, life isn’t like the movies. I don’t expect heart-shaped pancakes in bed in the morning, a room covered in diamonds and roses, or a dinner that costs enough to put a down payment on a used vehicle.
Yet in my adult life so far, I haven’t even been lucky enough for the bare minimum. Even the men in my self-authored books at age 10 were more romantic.
I want a flowers at the door, long handwritten note, time well spent, kind of day. Something pink, something meaningful, from the heart. Instead, I have experienced the “Yes, you have to ask someone to be your Valentine even if you are dating,” and the “Yes, you should have made a reservation a while ago if you actually wanted dinner with me somewhere tonight.”
Go ahead and call me corny. As a hopeless romantic, that is hardly enough to hurt me.
I know I am really not asking a lot… even if the men who didn’t deserve me thought so. I would pay money to ensure I never have to experience the thrill of preparing an amazing series of gifts followed by the heartbreak of getting nothing EVER again.
Despite my slight frustrations, in true lover girl fashion, I am persistent. I’ve allowed my heart to be opened and given away again, and have a feeling this Valentine’s might just be the one I have been waiting for. Cupid, I know I abandoned you, but…help me out…make it good this time?