With the growth of social media in the early 2010s, finding the people you knew online became a whole lot easier, but what about finding the people you didn’t know yet? Tinder, the dating app giant, hit app stores in 2012 and revitalized the online speed-dating scene, making it possible for love-seeking twenty-somethings to find romantic connections from the comfort and safety of their own homes. For years, the opening of a single app made dating possible anywhere, anytime, and the concept of “meeting someone naturally” was as outdated as your operating system that wouldn’t run Tinder. Tinder became known for pioneering many features, mostly those that ensured both people involved were interested in getting to know each other before conversational features were available. In this way, Tinder enabled users to have more agency over who they spoke with and eliminated the kind of harassment seen on other social media platforms. Even with this revolutionary dating style, the internet continued to evolve, and other dating apps, such as Bumble and Hinge, began to achieve the same cultural status that Tinder had once monopolized. Henceforth, the blueprint of online dating apps faded into a taboo fad for hook-up culture.
The Origin of “Tinder Tuesdays”
It is hard to pinpoint exactly when Tinder began garnering a reputation as a “hook-up app,” but with factors like its fiery branding, young demographics, and competitors’ marketing, it appeared that Tinder was destined to be taken less seriously than other dating platforms. Just as young singles were getting familiar with Tinder, college campus social media profiles began a series of weekly Tinder message exposés titled “Tinder Tuesdays.”
“Tinder Tuesdays” gave mostly college-aged women the opportunity to send in messages they received on Tinder (and occasionally on other platforms). The messages ranged from harmlessly funny to sexual harassment and all the oddities in between. In collaboration with female-led college-specific social media accounts, “Tinder Tuesdays” became a way for women to sensationalize the everyday harassment women face in the dating world. In this way, women were allowed to connect through shared experiences of off-hand comments and unwanted sexual advances. The messaging behind “Tinder Tuesdays” is lighthearted; the posts are meant to be a comedic and relatable weekly viewing experience. However, the underlying sentiment that there are enough examples of these kinds of messages to warrant a weekly slew of posts raises concern about how many of these kinds of messages we don’t see.
The current state of “Tinder Tuesdays” has many caveats that take away from the initial intention of the kind of “girl’s girl” mentality. This thought process emphasizes women sharing their negative experiences and, therefore, warning other women about this kind of unwarranted behavior.
The Problems
The first issue is that many messages have the sender’s profile or name redacted. There is something to be said about anonymity when it comes to sharing messages that occurred in a private conversation; however, there is also something to be said about the optics of protecting the privacy of senders who are choosing to send unwarranted, sexually explicit messages. There isn’t a correct answer to whether the names of senders should be redacted when they’re being exposed to a larger audience, especially when the redaction is in the sender’s hands. It’s hard to criticize the privatization of information, as it is in the control of someone who is coming forward with these kinds of controversial messages, and their comfort levels with what they choose to redact or not should be respected. That being said, the almost anonymous nature of the “Tinder Tuesdays” posts creates a new problem: they sensationalize harassment and normalize its occurrence.
The second problem with “Tinder Tuesdays” is that harassment has become an opportunity to become noticed. The opportunity to be posted on “Tinder Tuesday” may encourage a certain kind of shock-value harassment, with people hoping to see your comment make it into a social media post guaranteed to get likes. It’s unfortunate to see that bringing attention to harassment that occurs in private messages allows it to be normalized and, at times, encouraged. Without the poor behavior of senders, there would be no posts to make. Therefore, this perpetuates bad behavior. However, the intention of “Tinder Tuesdays” has not been lost on its predominantly female audience.
The “Girls Girl” Redemption
“Tinder Tuesdays” is simply the globalized version of the stories women already discuss among themselves. Sexual harassment predates any kind of online dating platform, and if anything, the online forum has only made dating a safer place to avoid and shut down sexual advances. With or without “Tinder Tuesdays”, the poor behavior of anyone sending or saying inappropriate things means that women will share it. The power of female camaraderie is not lost on modern society, especially on college campuses, where the social pool can be much more saturated. Women adapt to their ecosystem and respond accordingly. There is no “bro-code” for women. There is no reason to protect men’s bad behavior. The true meaning of being a “girl’s girl” is not yet lost in our society, with or without the help of “Tinder Tuesdays”.
