Dating yourself is not about being alone; it’s about showing up for yourself in the way you deserve. This article explores why building a relationship with yourself is just as important as building relationships with others.
Today, being a young adult comes with the pressure of pouring your time into dating and building romantic relationships. While relationships are an important part of life, sometimes we tend to prioritize them at the expense of our relationship with ourselves. Rushing into and overlooking our own needs and measuring our worth by who we are with instead of who we’re becoming are a few ways we lose sight of ourselves in the process. Somewhere between romanticizing late-night FaceTime’s, overanalyzing texts and waiting for someone else to choose us, many of us forget one important message: we are already in a lifelong relationship with ourselves. Dating yourself is a practice that is less about anti-love and more about being pro- you. It doesn’t mean you’ve given up on romance, it means you’ve decided to stop putting life on pause while waiting for it.
What Does “Dating Yourself” Mean?
Dating yourself is not only about self-care, but also the intentional choice to focus on treating yourself to the same care, attention and effort you’d give to a partner. Dating yourself becomes a practice that allows you to get to know you without outside noise. It can look like taking yourself on a solo date or thinking about the activities you always wanted to do but instead waited or relied on another person to do them. Maybe it was that restaurant you always wanted to try, that amusement park you’ve been hearing about or even that travel destination you’ve dreamed about going to. Don’t postpone joy by waiting for someone to experience the things you’ve always wanted to do. It can also look like keeping promises to yourself that you’d expect from a partner including loyalty, showing up for yourself, honesty, accountability and kindness, just to name a few. Being in tune with these attributes for yourself allows you to apply them in potential relationships. Learning to spend time alone without feeling lonely is another important skill. It’s important to note that being alone does not equal loneliness. Make sure to carve out time in your schedule to prioritize time alone. During this period, take time to reflect, journal and be present with your thoughts. Doing so promotes self-growth.
Why So Many of Us Avoid Being Alone
In all honesty, being alone can feel uncomfortable at first. Especially in a society that teaches women that fulfillment comes from being chosen, it can become difficult to see being alone as powerful. However, if you don’t enjoy your own company, no relationship will magically fix that. Dating yourself forces you to sit with who you are, including the messy parts. Sitting with these parts of ourselves can be uncomfortable, but if we don’t acknowledge them, how can we grow? Growth is a pillar of confidence where we’re able to trust ourselves in navigating any situation.
The Key Takeaway
Dating yourself isn’t a phase; it’s a foundation for self-growth and a potential relationship. It teaches you that your own worth isn’t tied to a relationship, and that love doesn’t have to be earned through exhaustion. You can give yourself the safety, joy, and care that you spend so much time searching for. As Valentine’s Day approaches, it’s a reminder that love does not only exist in grand romantic gestures or shared plans. It can also look like choosing you and celebrating your independence. Let love start with you because the relationship you build with yourself will always be one that lasts.