So.. what is the “ick”?
If you’ve spent any time on TikTok or heard friends talk about dating lately, you’ve probably heard of the “ick”: that sudden, instinctive feeling of romantic disgust that can suddenly shut down attraction (Collisson et al., 2025). One minute you’re interested, the next minute you can’t even look at the person the same way or would rather be at home because of something oddly specific. Maybe it’s how they talk, the way they eat, or how they engage with social media. Even though the ick is often treated like a joke online, recent research suggests it reveals some real patterns in how people connect and date today.
The psychology behind sudden turn-offs
Collission and colleagues (2025) frame the “ick” as an evolutionary reaction: a form of romantic aversion that arises when someone shows cues associated with incompatibility or low mate quality. Unlike clear dealbreakers such as dishonesty or aggression, these cues often involve minor behaviours that nonetheless provoke a strong emotional response (Collisson et al., 2025). The authors link this reaction to the concept of mate choice thresholds: everyone holds personal standards for partner acceptability, and when a behaviour seems to fall below that standard, rejection can happen quickly.
The evolutionary rejection machine
Their findings also show that people vary widely in how easily they experience the ick. One important factor is disgust sensitivity, or how prone an individual is to feeling disgust in general; those with higher disgust sensitivity were more likely to experience the ick (Collisson et al., 2025). Disgust originally evolved to protect humans from physical threats, but it also influences social and romantic judgements (Collisson et al., 2025). When it becomes overly sensitive, it may lead people to dismiss partners for reasons that have little impact on long-term compatibility
When high standards make dating harder
Personality traits also help explain who gets the ick most often. Collisson and colleagues (2025) found that other-oriented perfectionism, or holding very high expectations for others, was associated with the likelihood and frequency of experiencing the ick. In other words, people with strict standards may be especially quick to notice and react to small imperfections in romantic partners.
Grandiose narcissism showed a different pattern. It was linked to whether someone experienced the ick, but not how often it occurred (Collisson et al., 2025). This implies that narcissistic individuals may react strongly when a partner fails to meet their ideal image, rather than experiencing constant dissatisfaction across their dating experiences.
How TikTok helped turn the ick into a dating rule
The ick is seen as a cultural phenomenon, especially among Gen Z. Rosier (2024) argues that TikTok plays a central role in shaping how Gen Z understands dating. On this platform, ideas about attraction and rejection are publicly shared, reinforced, and normalized.
Rosier’s (2024) analysis of TikTok videos and comments reveals two dominant messages:
1. Some see the ick as real and legitimate, encouraging people to trust it as a completely valid reason to end a romantic connection.
2. Others portray the ick as exaggerated or unreasonable, questioning whether it should carry so much weight in modern relationships.
The coexistence of these messages shows that the ick is widely recognized, but still doubted within dating culture (Rosier, 2024).
What do attachment styles have to do with the ick?
Rosier (2024) also linked the popularity of the ick to broader cultural shifts toward dismissive attachment, which emphasizes self-reliance and emotional distance. From this angle, the ick may serve as a socially acceptable way to disengage when dating starts to feel a bit too emotionally intense. The study does raise questions about whether embracing the ick reflects genuine empowerment, pressure to appear emotionally detached, or a way to protect independence (Rosier, 2024).
So what does the ick reveal about modern relationships?
Current research on this topic is limited but shows that the ick is more than a passing joke. At its core, the ick is tied to feelings of disgust, high standards, and how people see themselves, but it is also heavily influenced by online spaces that reward these quick judgments and public validation (Collisson et al., 2025; Rosier, 2024). As we can tell, modern dating tends to move fast and prioritize emotional self-protection. The ick might help people walk away from situations that feel wrong, but it can also make it harder to sit with that discomfort or let deeper connections grow.
References
Collisson, B., Saunders, E., & Yin, C. (2025). The ick: Disgust sensitivity, narcissism, and perfectionism in mate choice thresholds. Personality and Individual Differences, 238, 113086. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2025.113086
Rosier, J. G. (2024). Getting the Ick is Giving Me the Ick: An Examination of How the Trendy Joke Went Viral and is Impacting Gen Z Dating Culture. Virginia Social Science Journal, 57. https://openurl.ebsco.com/EPDB%3Agcd%3A13%3A33154413/detailv2?sid=ebsco%