As I come upon the second semester of my first year in college, I’ve been thinking about friendship a lot recently. I’ve been reminiscing about the people I’ve met, all of the spontaneous moments and memories and the — hopefully — forever friendships I’ve made in just six months as well as those from before I even got to college. It makes me feel so many emotions: gratitude, excitement, nervousness, embarrassment, silliness, happiness and much more. I had been at dinner with a few of my friends talking about relationships and the meaning of friendship, when one made a really good statement about it: You can have friends that are for a reason, season or a lifetime. I really liked that idea, and then I thought, hey, like a pair of shoes, obviously.Â
Now think about it. There are pairs of shoes that you’ve had in your life that you couldn’t imagine throwing away. You’ve been through thick and thin with these shoes; you’ve walked through some of your most important days in them. There is just no way you could give them up because they are practically a part of you now. If you ever wore a different pair of shoes, people might be like I see you’re trying something new? or Look at that, so and so isn’t in their most prized possessions today. That’s just like your best friends in the world. The people who have been with you since day one, and they don’t care what insane sh*t you’re pulling in the future because they will always be by your side no matter what. You hold these shoes and friends close to your heart because who on earth would you be without them?
But, then you have the shoes that have given you horrible, dreadful blisters. The kind that makes you never even want to look at that shoe again. Well, there are a few ways this could go though, so hear me out.Â
Maybe you just happened to wear these shoes on the day you have to, for some reason, walk like ten miles – think like a full day of sightseeing wear and tear. It’s not entirely your shoes fault that you decided to wear them this long without the right-fitting socks or such. You can be a little bit to blame for those searing blisters. Thus, you may be able to try them again in the future, but with a little more caution and care, and maybe you’ve even built up some callouses. In friend terms, there’s some give and take. You can’t take all and expect not to get hurt or f*cked over, and neither can they. Sometimes the relationship, let’s say this was a pretty nice pair of shoes, is worth going back for and mending.
On the flipside, let’s say you tried wearing these shoes to class for a while, but just blister after blister after blister comes knocking down your door. You’re likely to just get rid of them, and you know what, that is okay. These shoes probably weren’t the right size for you, so it’s probably best that you return or donate them, so that someone else might find their perfect fit. I’m not saying you should throw away your friends. People are not trash or an item to be returned. However, letting go of a toxic or just a friendship that isn’t bringing positivity to your life is a different story. If you are constantly getting hurt by someone, you aren’t bound to continue being friends with them. It’s probably better for both of you that you go your separate ways, stop giving each other blisters and whatnot. That said, if you see someone else start wearing them, we are not saying those shoes are fricken ugly, at least, not in front of them. Kidding.
So, blisters can be dealt with in a couple of different ways. Let’s move on to our specific activity shoes now. Think hiking boots, slippers, kitten heels, or those knee-high black going-out boots — you know what I’m talking about. The shoes that are part of your life for more specific — but probably also to be interpreted in one’s own way — purposes.
Your hiking boots, climbing shoes, ski boots, running shoes, or whatever you’d like to call them, those are like the friends in your clubs or sports, they’re the friends you do stuff with. I’m not saying you can’t absolutely adore your hiking boots to the moon and back, but also at other times, they’re just that reliable shoe you know you can count on for a ten-mile trek. However, we don’t necessarily need to rely on these shoes for our day-to-day, and that’s perfectly fine. Call that person up when you’re ready to hit the slopes, but maybe not when you just broke up with your boyfriend/situationship/cheating scandal drama. It is important to have friends like this where you can just relax, be present in the moment, and think about other parts of your life. Everyone needs a good pair of hiking boots, I promise you.
Similarly, your going-out shoes are just for that: going out. It’s probably unlikely that you’re wearing these to class or on a stroll — it is possible that you may be carrying them to breakfast the morning after. These shoes are fun, exciting, and always look gorgeous. When you have these on, you know you are going places and gonna have a great time. Depending on how you roll, you may only wear these on Friday nights, but you also might throw them on Wednesday through Saturday night. Completely up to you to decide when the fancy shoes start pinching your feet, if at all. Your going out friends could also be your forever shoes; maybe you wear the shoes all the time, and on a night out. Or maybe you switch up shoes every so often for a different feel. All of the above is to be expected. What nights out require most are dependable and fun friends, so that could be shiny black boots or an old pair of sambas. To each their own.
Lastly, your slippers. The shoes you slide into after a long day. They don’t judge, and instead they comfort you and make you feel better when you’ve been on a low. You might wear them just at night, but sometimes you may need an entire day of slipper-wearing ease. I like to think of slippers as roommates, but thinking from a perspective that is not mine right now, maybe a significant other as well. Overall, it’s the person you come home to and value their time and energy to hear about your day. We keep our slippers tidy and comfy, just like this relationship. You can be goofy, sad, lazy, or arising to a new day with your slippers. It is important to have a relationship that does this for you.
So, that’s my analysis and spew of why shoes are like friends. Just like the saying from before, shoes can have reasons, seasons, and can last for a lifetime if you take care of them right. I think that more than ever, we need to consider our friendships and how they relate in our own lives. It’s okay to ask why you may be friends with a person, and it’s okay to expand or minimize that relationship based on what you’ve thought about. I’d like to end by saying that I love my shoes and my friends very, very much. I am quite grateful for everything they do for me and put up with, and I hope that I give them that good-shoe-feeling in return.