If you’ve opened social media over the past month, you’ve probably heard about the new gay hockey romance that everyone is talking about: Heated Rivalry on HBO Max. I’ve found you can’t even leave the house these days without being reminded of it– I saw a guy wearing an Ilya Rozanov jersey outside Safeway last weekend. But if you’re one of the unlucky few who hasn’t been acquainted with this media phenomenon yet, I’ll give a quick synopsis: Heated Rivalry tracks the story of two star hockey players on rival teams over the course of nine years, as their relationship morphs from enemies to… well, lovers, then eventually to boyfriends.
The show has been received so well because of the acting (and the actors– more on that later), the feel-good moments, and the simple fact of its current prominence in the zeitgeist. What’s primarily interesting to me, though, are the sources from which the majority of this discussion is coming from. Enter: straight women.
In the circles that I’ve watched and talked about the show with, I’ve found that it’s more likely for my straight friends to have a positive opinion of it than my queer friends. Even Jordan Firstman, a gay actor in another recent HBO show, I Love LA, had this to say about Heated Rivalry: “I’m sorry…it’s just not gay. It’s not how gay people f**k. There are so few things that actually show gay sex.” There has been a lot of discussion surrounding why straight women specifically have found such joy and excitement in the show, but that raises the inverse question: Why haven’t gay people?
The reasons I’ve heard for queer people being disheartened by the representation in Heated Rivalry tend to fall into one of a few buckets: it’s just smut, it’s created for the straight female gaze, or it’s unrealistic and doesn’t reflect the true queer experience.
Regarding the last point, I argue that not all queer media has to be tortured. For years, media has been plagued by the bury-your-gays trope, in which LGBTQ+ characters are introduced just to be killed off before they can have a meaningful impact. Heated Rivalry presents an alternative, where the queer characters are the protagonists, and they get a happy ending. Media representing queer relationships can be positive and still realistic!
Also, the show reflects less positive parts of queer life. Viewers can see the characters’ fear of homophobic backlash from both the league they play in and, for Rozanov, the home expectations of his family in Russia. If the conversation is about representation, there is something of value there, both for closeted viewers and those watching from places that aren’t accepting of their identity. Additionally, if we want to keep talking about straight people, it is worthwhile for them to be able to consume content about this possibly difficult aspect of queer life.
Next, I’ll talk about the actors who have garnered praise for both their craft and their physiques. Both unknowns before the debut of Heated Rivalry, Connor Storrie and Hudson Williams have been catapulted into a level of fame, including presenting an award at the Golden Globes, where their speech included “Hi, moms! Hi, daughters!” The acknowledgement of the majority female audience can’t be written off as untrue, given that network data shows around two-thirds of Heated Rivalry viewers to be women. To me, this comment felt misaligned with the intention of the show’s purpose. I really appreciate these actors and the media tear they’ve been on, but it doesn’t feel helpful to entrench the idea that this is not media meant for an audience that sees their identity reflected in the characters.
As for the copious sex scenes, I want to raise Heartstopper, Netflix’s 2022 queer hit, as a counterexample. Upon release, it faced complaints that it was oversanitizing queer male relationships, and trying to make them more marketable to a mainstream audience by desexualizing the characters. And yet, the response to Heated Rivalry for offering a sexual view of gay relationships has also been negative. Instead of appreciation for showing this element of queer life, there are complaints about the sex scenes being aimed at women. Can gay media ever win? Is there a “right way” to create it? Or is it possible that having different approaches to representing a certain community is how you eventually reach a mediascape that is able to portray queer relationships in every capacity that we see in real life?
Lastly, and arguably most important, there has been a quantifiable positive impact from the show on the queer community. The actors have shared that they have received multiple anonymous letters from closeted queer athletes in various professional leagues in the US, saying that the show was meaningful to them. In an atmosphere where there is not a single out athlete in any of the “big 5” American sports leagues (NFL, MLB, NHL, MLS, NBA), this representation truly is meaningful, even if some viewers’ main draw is their attraction to the actors.
I’m not here to police who is or isn’t allowed to enjoy certain media. Rather, I want to encourage the queer community to relax their expectations a little bit. I do not think that this show is the best, most accurate, or queerest piece of queer media ever to be created. But I do think it’s fun! More importantly, I think that by writing Heated Rivalry off and refusing to engage with it, we are letting straight voices dominate the conversation and mold the show to only mean what they want it to. Contributing to these discussions as queer people is how we pave the way for the next iterations of LGBTQ+ media to be better.
For what it’s worth, I’m excited about the fact that the biggest cultural moment right now is a television show that is created by, featuring, and telling the stories of queer people!