In my opinion, there is nothing that brings people together more than movies.
They can act as a conversation starter among new friends, hold memories between loved ones, and even help someone discover certain parts about themselves that they never recognized before. While there is a laundry list of things that can be fixed in today’s political and social climate, I believe that the progress made in efforts for representation throughout television and film should be celebrated. We still have a long way to go, but we are leaps and bounds ahead of where we were a few decades ago.
I have personally experienced many instances of self-discovery through the medium of film, particularly in my teenage and young-adult years. Whether it be concerned with love, friendship, or personal expression, these are a few films that I hold near and dear, which I also credit with helping me blossom into the woman I am today.
There may be spoilers ahead, so tread lightly!
my girl (1991)
If you’ve seen this gem of a movie, you understand exactly why it’s on this list. When I watched this movie for the first time, I was thirteen years old and a self-identified “weird kid”. I liked to bike around my neighbourhood alone and write my own little stories in my spare time, much like the main character, Vada.
I admired her so deeply for how she was just so unapologetically herself. She didn’t need to have the prettiest clothes, the most popular friends, or the most expensive things; she had her best friend, her bicycle, and a wild sense of imagination. Vada showed me that there can be so much joy in what your life already looks like, especially in a culture where personal reinvention seems to be the only key to true success.
My Girl taught me so much about self-expression, lessons that have followed me from middle school all the way to university. Of course, the movie is an insane tear-jerker, and if you have a deep empathy for fictional characters as I do, you’re going to want to prepare yourself for the climax of the film.
(Fun fact: Dan Aykroyd, who plays the character of Vada’s father, is from my hometown of Kingston, Ontario!)
the devil wears prada (2006)
As a lover of all things fashion (and Anne Hathaway), this movie is a certified classic for me.
Watching as Hathaway’s character, Andy, goes from a scrappy secretary who is only using Runway Magazine to further her own career to a glowing fashionista who is now passionate and proud of her work in the industry is always so motivating. Despite the resisting factors in her old life compared to her new life (her old boyfriend Nate gives me the ick just thinking about him, gross!), Andy perseveres and actually begins to enjoy the work she’s doing, despite her lacklustre job title.
I’ve been obsessed with this movie for years, but watching it in my first year of university really shaped how I tackled my schoolwork. Instead of mainly focusing on where I wanted to be after graduation, as I had been doing for the better part of my first year of undergrad, it clicked in my brain that I needed to focus on the steps and effort it takes to get there. I had been suffering from insane tunnel vision, like I was a mindless robot just grinding until I reached my goal. My schoolwork got so much easier to handle (and more enjoyable!) when I took a step back and re-evaluated where I wanted to put my efforts.
If only I could do that in Valentino and Chanel, too.
Perks of being a wallflower (2012)
For starters, this movie is an emotional rollercoaster. I laughed, I cried, I cringed – my friends laughed at every little reaction I had while watching this film for the first time with them.
Similar to others who have seen the movie, I found myself strongly aligning with the plights of the main character, Charlie. His trepidations about high school and socializing mirrored what I had gone through as a 15-year-old, especially after I got into theatre and found my tribe, as Charlie does. Each of his new friends has their own struggles, ones that are actually realistic to the life of a teenager, instead of romanticized ideas.
The film is not only heavily realistic to the high school experience, but it is also incredibly cathartic and emotionally impactful. As someone who once struggled with horrible self-esteem issues and had no idea who I was as a teenager, the famous quote uttered by Charlie’s teacher, Mr. Anderson, has stuck with me since the night I watched the film for the first time: “We accept the love we think we deserve.”
la la land (2016)
I just had to save this film for last.
La La Land has been my favourite movie of all time, ever since it came out. I have watched it over and over, studied it in school, and have even written previous articles about it. Never in my life have I loved a piece of media so much; the set elements, the incredible scoring, and especially the themes of love and being an artist.
Though the ending of the film kills me every time, it reminds me that the people who may improve your life the most aren’t always meant to stay with you forever. Sebastian and Mia bolstered each other’s confidence, gave each other purpose and motivation in their respective creative endeavours, only to be torn apart by the very things that they loved.
This movie reinforces the (very important, in my opinion) message that just because people look like they’re meant to be together on paper, doesn’t mean that they’re destined for the rest of their lives. Relationships are so incredibly complicated and intimate, and while I do personally think that Mia and Sebastian getting married at the end and having an artsy little life together would be beautiful, I think that, based on where they were in their lives at that point in time, they weren’t meant to be.
Honorable mentions
There are many more films that I can attribute to my growth as a human, since I’ve been an avid film buff since before I could remember. Here are some of the titles that nearly made the cut!
- The Notebook (2004): Killed me emotionally, inside and out. Unconditional love is such a beautiful thing.
- Ladybird (2017): Utterly insufferable main character, but has a lot of lessons on personal/familial relationships and self-discovery.
- Call Me By Your Name (2018): Gut-wrenching tale of the intricate woes of being young and in love.
- Barbie (2023): I mean, what isn’t life-changing about this movie?
Thank you for reading. Go watch a movie today!