“Sue me, I wanna be wanted.”
I first heard Audrey Hobert’s music this past May, through her song “Sue me.” One simple lyric plainly put into words how I was feeling after another failed attempt at finding romance. In August, Hobert released her debut album, “Who’s the Clown,” and I was struck by how relatable her music is in the way she bluntly captures what it feels like to be a 20-something-year-old woman. For only 12 songs that add up to 35 minutes, the impact it has had on me has been immeasurable.
My favorite track on the album is “Thirst Trap,” and I will admit that I laughed at the title before pressing play. However, after listening to the song in its entirety, it felt as though Hobert had published entries from my personal diary. The song details the painstaking experience of having a debilitating crush on someone who feels the opposite, a narrative that hit close to home, especially this summer.
She sings about taking “thirst traps” alone in your room, an act that feels so embarrassing and private to confess, but something many of us do in an attempt to feel better and wanted by someone. Lyrics such as “Stay up, and I pace around, I pace around the room / Wake up, and I’m thinkin’ ‘bout, I’m thinkin’ ‘bout you” and “But then I got that thing and you changed me / Now all I ever think’s ‘would you date me?’” are simple, yet effectively speak to the universal experience of being consumed by a crush. The most relatable lyric in the song may be, “I think he’ll text back when I’m in the shower.” Most girls are familiar with the ritual of waiting for a text and setting their phone down to do something, like showering, in hopes of returning to a new message.
In the song “Drive,” Hobert chooses flight over confrontation, taking a drive rather than facing her complex emotions. One lyric stands out to me: “What’s a girl to do? Like, play it cool? / But I’m playing it cool / And it’s got me nowhere.” In a social climate that values being nonchalant and cool, Hobert plainly admits that it’s not working for her.
Songs like “Chateau” describe the feeling of being stuck at parties you don’t want to attend. Her song “Phoebe” strikes a chord as she struggles to learn how to be content with her insecurities, only to fall flat. “Wet Hair” explores the awkwardness of running into someone you used to be with while trying to act like it hardly matters. In “Sex and the City,” Hobert compares her modern-day dating experiences to relationships in the ‘90s, touching on her frustration with not feeling valued or wanted by men.
All of Hobert’s songs speak to experiences and emotions that are so true of girlhood in your twenties, and she does not sugarcoat any of it in her lyricism. The album encapsulates feelings of insecurity, loneliness and being unwanted or unvalidated, while also touching on partying and going out, themes central to the college and 20-something experience.
After 11 tracks about her insecurities and grievances with both herself and men, Hobert closes the album with “Silver Jubilee,” a song all about letting go and having fun. Ending the album on this note after laying out her issues is exactly what it feels like to be a girl in your twenties. Yes, I carry all of these emotions and insecurities, but I’m still young and want to have fun with my friends. Both can be true at the same time. This album feels like peering into a mirror, and I’m hopeful for more music from Hobert that makes me feel seen.