“protect your energy like a luxury item” – Taylor Swift
Some people who walk into our lives are gifts—they fill us with warmth, compassion and understanding. Others walk into our lives and make us feel small, and it seems like all they do is tear us down. We’ve all dealt with negative people at some point in our lives. It can be easy to let their negative energy affect us, especially if their behavior feels constant and unavoidable. However, learning how to deal with these types of people is a crucial part of becoming a successful person. Confronting these issues head-on can be challenging. In this article, I will share four techniques that I’ve learned from my experiences dealing with negative people.
1. THE SNOW GLOBE VISUALIZATION
I’ve had my fair share of negative people and, in all honesty, I haven’t always dealt with these situations in a healthy way. I find myself feeling very affected by other people’s energies, to the point where it starts to affect my mood as well. I was on a run the other day when I encountered an episode of the Mel Robbins Podcast—a motivational podcast that provides expert-backed advice and tools for creating a better life. In the episode, Mel introduces a visualization technique called the “snowglobe method” for dealing with the toxicity of negative people. The premise of this is that whenever you are stuck in a situation where a person is unleashing their negative energy on you, you have to imagine that they are stuck in a snowglobe. That person’s flurry of negativity is stuck inside a little bubble while you observe from the outside, untouched. I felt very inspired by this perspective and started to apply it to my everyday life. I found that using this visualization has helped me detach from these situations, realizing that I can’t control other people’s actions. Their negativity is their choice and it’s nothing about me. It completely shifts the way you view these types of people, allowing you to protect your peace and energy.
2. JOURNALING
Another tip to help deal with negative people is journaling. It’s a habit I’ve been incorporating into my daily routine and it has seriously changed my life. Simply writing down five traits you like about yourself or 10 things you’re grateful for in your life can completely alter your perspective. It lets you see past the opinions of negative, unimportant people and makes you view things from a more objective standpoint. Seeing positive things about yourself written down on paper shifts your attention to the good rather than the bad. Journaling can protect you from manipulative people who want you to believe things about yourself that aren’t true. Only you know the truth about yourself and daily journaling can help reinforce this reminder! Those rude remarks won’t hit as hard when you have confidence in yourself and proof of your abilities.
3. AVOID, AVOID, AVOID!
If you are in a situation where being around toxic people is a choice, you should avoid it at all costs. If you reduce contact with this person as much as possible, their negative energy won’t be able to reach you. If that person is angry or disappointed that you can’t hang out with them anymore, it doesn’t matter because you have to put yourself first. I always think of the quote, “Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm.” Learning to put aside your people-pleasing tendencies and spending your time doing things that are actually enjoyable will make you feel more energized and happy. Also, showing that you have your best interest at heart and are in control of who you surround yourself with is an act of self-care and love. It might be harder to cut ties with long-term friends because the longer we get to know people, the more we become attached to the good parts about them. If their negativity constantly affects you, it’s definitely worth ending the relationship, no matter what.
4. SHIFT YOUR ATTENTION
Lastly, there are times in your life when you may have to consistently come into contact with someone draining your energy (a roommate, a teammate, a classmate, etc.). In that case, you must learn to shift your attention away from the negativity and focus on yourself! Your attention is always something that is in your control. Instead of focusing on what they said about you or how they made you feel with rude comments, you should do something to make yourself feel good. This could be going to the gym, meditating, reading a book or surrounding yourself with other people who make you happy.
While encountering toxic people in life is inevitable, applying these techniques in your daily routine can help you protect your peace, stay grounded, and stay on track.