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belly and conrad playing basketball on the boardwalk in the summer i turned pretty season 2
belly and conrad playing basketball on the boardwalk in the summer i turned pretty season 2
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Cal Poly | Life

Here’s Your Sign to Walk Away From That Situationship

Updated Published
Anna Tran Student Contributor, Cal Poly State University - San Luis Obispo
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Cal Poly chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

Valentines Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, the holidays where you see couples being couples. It’s cute right? Until you remember you’re in a no-commitment long distance relationship, or should I say, situationship. 

Here’s the harsh truth, if he wanted to, he would. Consider this article your official sign to let that man go. 

As the new year approaches us, those of you in a so-called “situationship” should take this moment as a chance to let go of anything holding you back. I’ve spent time reflecting on my experiences this year, and I want to share a few thoughts for those of you who need them. 

Let me guess, you’re scared to let him go because you don’t want to be alone? And that’s completely valid, but let’s be honest. Wouldn’t being alone and learning how to love yourself be better than being in a “relationship” where you don’t even know where you stand? 

I suggest asking yourself these questions: 

  • Are they using their “emotional unavailability” as an excuse to not commit?
  • Do they keep coming back even after they end things?
  • Are you embarrassed to tell your friends things they’ve done?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, keep reading. 

The reason you guys aren’t official is simple, he doesn’t want to be. He already knows he has access to your time, your attention, and your heart, so he doesn’t feel any urgency to make you his. If you’re willing to accept the bare minimum without a label, what would be different about that if you guys were official? 

If you’re six months (or more) into talking to someone and they hit you with, “I’m not ready for a relationship,” believe them and move on. Chances are, they’re still hung up on someone else, or they simply don’t want to commit to you. 

Now, I’m not saying emotional unavailability isn’t real, but let’s be honest, how many times have you heard this one? 

And no, it’s not “cute” when he checks in every couple months. It’s actually one of the most overlooked forms of manipulation.

Men will go ghost for weeks or months, but the second they see you doing better, they suddenly miss you. We’ve all been there, feeling excited when they come back; but once you understand the real reason behind it, there’s nothing cute about it. 

He reaches out because he wants reassurance that you’re still there. He knows he can come and go as he pleases because you’ve made it easy for him to come back. He doesn’t crave you, he craves the attention and validation you give him. 

Before the year comes to an end, you need to remind yourself that the more self love you have for yourself, it’ll be easier to find someone who displays that same energy or more for you. So, if you’re in a situationship, let that man go!

Anna Tran

Cal Poly '28

Anna is a second-year Journalism major at Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo. She is currently an editorial writer for Her Campus. In her free time, she likes to watch movies, hang out with friends, and try out new restaurants.