IT’S OKAY TO FEEL OUT OF PLACE STILL
Counting down the days until move-in this year, I was absolutely horrified. It seemed so far away in June, like I was never actually going to college. And yet, I found the number of days I had left shrinking quickly, until there was just one left. I was absolutely terrified. College always felt like a distant dream, even during the application process. But when I was all moved in and my parents left, it all hit me all at once. I didn’t know anyone, let alone the place I was living, coming from out of state.
It was scary, I can’t lie. It’s not really something you can sugarcoat, either. Without classes for the first week and a half, I found myself searching for friends within the dorm. We formed a pretty large group of girls, all looking for a group, and attended the first football game together. But, in all honesty, this brought me little comfort; it all felt unnatural and forced.
The first few weeks of school were difficult. Adjusting to life without seeing your typical familiar faces isn’t easy on its own; add on a hefty course load and the search for extracurriculars, and it becomes almost too much to handle. On the outside, it might seem like everyone else has it together. They all know what clubs and organizations they want to join, their exact majors and four-year plans. But in reality, everyone was figuring it out. In fact, a lot of people still are. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
The adjustment to college life isn’t something that can or should be brushed off. Most of us are living completely on our own for the very first time; that’s a huge change. Living in a cramped, tiny dorm room with a stranger doesn’t really help, either.
Once you get used to that, though, there’s the task of finding your groove and meeting people you can connect with. When classes started, I began to get into a routine again, which helped a lot. Having nothing to do in an unfamiliar place filled with unfamiliar people is not an easy way to start freshman year.
For me, I didn’t begin to feel at home until about a month into school, after I’d completed sorority recruitment and met girls within that. It took time, even after I’d joined, to find my people within the chapter. Ultimately, though it is certainly a tough pill to swallow, we have to accept that it takes time to settle down.
Keep in mind, though, this turnaround for me was relatively quick. I’ve talked to people who’ve told me they didn’t feel like they truly belonged until a year, two after beginning. It’s completely natural to still feel unsettled and a bit out of place. I know in certain settings, I still do, too. There are classes I don’t know anyone in, and clubs where I have to find people to talk to. That’s just how life goes. But it’s completely normal.
So if you haven’t quite figured everything out or found the right fit for you in a club yet, don’t worry. The stories you hear about most of the time are beyond best best-case scenario. You have four whole years here; we just have to relax. It can feel like we need to do everything all at once. But there’s time, freshmen; give yourself some grace.