College. The promise of a brand new life. An undeniably exciting door about to be opened, a million different possibilities, a blank page right in front of you, waiting to be written.
Such ideals are infallible in building a deeply strong expectation. You spend years of your life daydreaming about the moment when you will be surrounded by new people who think like you, act like you, and feel the same as you. A place where you feel connected, where you belong.
So, obviously, it is heartbreaking when the day finally comes and everything you have always dreamed of simply doesn’t exist. Well, it may not have been like this for you, but it definitely was like this for me.
February 2025. I have recently turned 18. After coming back from my dream trip to New York City, I am ready to step into the strongly promised “most amazing chapter of my entire existence.”
Just to fit you into my world: I live in São Paulo, Brazil. A big, loud, and crowded city. Perfect for studying journalism — quite the news concentration, but aesthetically very different from what I had envisioned.
I must admit, growing up with Pitch Perfect, Gilmore Girls, and some other American classics that portray college life did affect my vision of my own future. I was blinded by a cinematographic illusion, and even worse, a cultural barrier too.
University in Brazil is pretty different and, even though it’s slightly obvious, I had to learn it the hard way: by living it.
It’s easy to say now, but my first college lesson was to slow down my expectations. Not because life isn’t brilliantly bright, but because the way we see the world may not be loyal to reality, and if we always expect too much, frustration will inevitably become our great unwanted friend.
The second lesson came right away. After spending 15 years in the same school, interacting daily with the same people, I simply hadn’t developed the ability to meet strangers who knew nothing about me.
It’s certainly freeing, but also very scary. Walking into a place where absolutely no one knows you brings an unfamiliar sense of loneliness, a fear of being on your own.
“What if I make no friends?” “What if no one there likes me?”
I had never had to ask myself these questions before. My friend circle had never changed — well, not until now. But what I can assure you is that you will meet your people.
College is nothing more than a giant building full of people chasing their dreams. You are one of them. And among the thousands of others, there are plenty whose goals, wishes, and quirks align with yours.
Everyone feels a little lost. No one really knows what is going on. So trust me when I say this: your people will find you. It might take some time. You might drift from one group to another. But at the right time, a special union of incredibly unique individuals will welcome someone just like you to complete their gang. You will fit in, just like I did.
The very best part of all of this is that, when I first walked through those doors, I was a scared little girl. But facing disappointment and getting a taste of adult life brings an unparalleled kind of maturity.
And this is, for sure, the biggest lesson I have learned during my first year of college: challenges come and go, and they never stop. Life never gets “easy”. Every phase brings joy and achievements, but also new obstacles. The good thing is that we can always endure the hard times. We are stronger than we think.
Instead of seeing complications assigns that we should just quit, see them as motivation to get better, to get up braver, wiser, and even more prepared to keep going.
I feel lucky to study what I’ve always dreamed of, surrounded by people who cheer for my wins as if they were theirs. And this is not something exclusive to me. If you open yourself up to truly live and feel life to its fullest, you might experience just the same.
Trust me, it is worth it.
In the end, I didn’t get the college life I had always imagined. It was even better: it gave me the strength to build the real one.
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The article above was edited by Isabella Simões.
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