No one is exempt from the challenges that life brings, especially not university students.
Each person handles seasons of difficulty differently, but the weight of exams, never-ending assignments, and the early sunsets at 5 P.M. can make days feel endless. The heaviness in my heart, the self-doubt fuelled by comparison, and the looming sense of the stretch that lies ahead makes days difficult to get through. But after a few weeks of reflection, I have come to understand that what carries me through anxiety-riddled days is the life raft of people who have weathered it all with me.Â
In thinking back to recent struggles as a university student in November, my heart swells with gratitude for my life raft of people. These are the people who link arms with me through difficult moments when I cannot seem to feel the bottom of the ocean beneath my feet. Their position in my life raft is shown through offering a strong and motivating pep talk, a light-hearted laugh to lift my mind from responsibilities, and a deep hug or a safe space to cry into. In being surrounded by the people who hold me, I finally feel the sandiness of the sea floor beneath me, and I am reminded that because of my support system—the people in my life raft—I am not facing these treacherous waters alone.Â
Each person holds a special place in my life raft; they know who they are and what they mean to me, how they have made my heart lighter, or have held my hand tighter in overwhelming moments. They have impacted me so positively that I have written down a list of all the people in my life raft who help keep me afloat during difficult times. I keep this list pasted on my wall as a constant reminder that I am held.
I encourage you to do the same. Write down a list of their names and reach out to the people who bring you comfort, who support you through the thick and sticky moments of life, so that you may laugh and cry about them in tandem.Â
During weeks where only exams and assignments occupied my days, where anxiety and exhaustion were the most familiar feelings to me, seeking support from my people reminded me that, even though I know I am strong enough to get through it on my own, there is something beautiful in not having to. There is something tender and sweet about going through our difficult moments in life with others, rather than going through them on our own. This does not make you weaker or mean that you are any less capable of doing things by yourself. Rather, it acknowledges that sharing the hard parts makes the journey gentler.Â
There is much strength to be recognized in being vulnerable, in opening yourself to receiving support, love, and comfort. Open yourself to vulnerability, and you will be surprised by how much weight is lifted from your chest. Whether it is your friends or family, a pet, your faith, a song, a comforting meal, an outfit you’re excited to wear, or something you’re looking forward to, anything counts as part of your life raft. I invite you to build your own life raft to help you stay afloat in those challenging seasons, which are inevitable. However big or small the impact may be, if it made you smile, feel warm, or provided a space to express your fears—if it was a quiet moment of basking in the presence of your cat, or a loud and tearful laugh that has reminded you that your life expands far beyond your daily worries—it all counts.Â
I thank every one of my people for being part of my life raft. Whether they know their significant impact on my heart or not, all their support, hours spent laughing, studying, talking, crying, or praying, have been times that made me feel supported and loved. At times, our society celebrates such incredibly individualistic lifestyles, praising independence, and applauding hustle and hard work. While such feats are impressive and hold their place of importance in life, not all of it can be lived that way.Â
Having supportive people in your life does not mean you can’t support yourself. Being strong and needing support are not mutually exclusive terms. You can be vulnerable and resilient, confident and uncertain, shy and courageous, sensitive and thick-skinned, independent and needing of support, all at the same time. One does not invalidate or cancel out the other. Your need for a life raft does not strip you of your strength or absolve your ability to get through challenges on your own, it is a sign that you are only human.Â
It is a beautiful thing to know you have your own back and that you can depend on yourself for comfort and support. To know that you are strong and can-do hard things. To be able to remind yourself that you have gotten through difficult seasons before and can do it again. But it is even more beautiful to know that you don’t have to. That you can do life alongside the support of others, sharing the weight of it with them. That you can do it with people cheering you on or helping you walk each step of the way.
It is beautiful that you can do it on your own, but undeniably more beautiful that you don’t have to because you have a life raft you can rely on.