Relationships rely on connection, but the best thing you can do to maintain a strong relationship is give yourself and your partner space.
It can be enticing to live with your partner as soon as possible, but as young adults in the midst of college, it is important to create a physical distance where you can both grow and learn about yourselves. Having a separate living space at the beginning of a relationship will allow you to have an environment where you can decompress and loosen up. At the end of the day, you are both maturing and learning about yourselves, as well as each other, so providing time where you can choose to be together or have a night alone will be extremely rewarding.
Consequently, it helps to have a place where you can decompress from disagreements with your partner. Being in a shared space can cause conflicts, especially early in a relationship, so before you learn how to handle arguments together, it helps to have some separation. It will strengthen your relationship, not hinder it.
I have been in a relationship for nearly two years now, and while I find myself wishing my boyfriend and I lived together, I am grateful that I have my own space. It is no secret that I struggle with being alone, but during the time I have been living in my apartment, I have come to cherish the time we have apart.
It is difficult for me to go more than a few days without going over to his or vice versa; however, I have noticed that if we were living together this early in our relationship, I would not appreciate the time we have together. I will say that we do long distance during the summer and winter, with me going back to Florida and him staying in Massachusetts, so it is hard for me to always appreciate the moments I have in my own space when I am reminded of our time being limited to the school year.
While it had been difficult for me to traverse living alone for the first time, I believe that it is a necessary step towards growth. If I lived with my boyfriend, I would not know myself as deeply as I now do, and I would not have the privacy or space to do so. We are young and have all the time in the world to share space, so this time is a great way for us to explore our relationship at a slower pace.
I will also say, it is important to compromise, and living together is all about compromise. When you live with a roommate, disagreements can cause tension, but at the end of the day, you are not building a relationship the same way you do with a partner. Tension can cause detrimental rifts that can lead to break-ups, and dealing with a break-up while tied to a lease is the worst outcome. That is why it is important to wait until you know you are ready and mature enough to take the next step. Even if you think you are ready, I recommend stepping back and waiting until you have lived on your own.
The prospect of living with someone you love sounds fun and exciting, but it is important that you do it at the right moment, not only for your partner, but for yourself.
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