Many people in high school stick with the same friend group until graduation. The biggest concern amongst new college students is navigating new friendships and figuring out, all over again, who they mesh best with. I’m sure you’ve heard the stereotype that the people you’re friends with in your freshman year don’t stick around. However, as a current sophomore, I have a very healthy relationship with my friends from freshman year. My advice on maintaining healthy friendships is straightforward and will hopefully be helpful for those just setting out on their college journey or who need a bit of guidance.
What truly set the foundation of my friendships was talking to people before school even started. I made an effort to talk to people from the UMass Class of 2028 Instagram page, as well as respond to anyone who reached out to me. This was a great way to meet people because it was easy to find people who had similar interests, and the interactions were low-stakes. I found four of my closest friends this way. This is also a convenient method for finding a roommate who you’ll get along with because you’re able to discuss if your lifestyles will be compatible for cohabitation before committing to living together. My freshman year roommate reached out to me this way, and we have decided that we’ll be living together for the remainder of college. While this method is not foolproof, for those who don’t want a random roommate or want to get a head start on meeting new people, this is a great option for finding friends early on.
Coincidentally, when housing assignments came out, I found out that the three other people I had been consistently talking to aside from my roommate were also going to be living in our building. This meant that I already had a friend group waiting for me, which was very reassuring. Once again, this was a pure coincidence and may not happen for everyone. However, in the same vein, it is very important to put yourself out there in the first few weeks of college. This simply means going outside of your comfort zone when talking to and meeting new people. Whether it be knocking on the door of your neighbor, going to Welcome Week events, or striking up a conversation with someone in the dining hall, you’ll never know who you will get along with until you talk to them. Everyone in the first month of college will be looking to meet new people as well, so it’s not as weird as you may think to go up to someone and just start talking to them. As a more introverted person, some of the best friendships I’ve made in school are because I decided to talk to them on a whim.
Making friends is only the first step in this process; maintaining a healthy relationship with your friends is the more difficult component. It’s a given that your friends probably have some overlapping interests, but I would say that the most important aspect of maintaining friendships is that you and your core group have alignment in lifestyle and morals. For example, I don’t enjoy going out, and neither do the people closest to me. While I still have friends who enjoy going out on the weekends, those who I spend the most time with prefer to do different activities. It can really put a strain on friendships if you are constantly obligated to do something that you are not up for while everyone else is. Additionally, for many people, having similar moral, religious, and political stances is important in maintaining a healthy friendship. It is certainly possible to maintain friendships with people who have different viewpoints, but it truly depends on the type of person you are and how strongly you feel about certain things. My overarching advice is that you know yourself better than anyone, so don’t try to struggle through a friendship with people who you don’t align with. You are really just hurting yourself in the end if you stick around with someone who fundamentally disagrees with your beliefs.
I currently live in a suite with five of my best friends, including the four that I mentioned previously. Our living situation is great because we respect each other, communicate effectively, and our lifestyles align. While everyone’s journey through finding friends in college will look different, these basic principles should take you far, no matter what path you’re taken down.
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