15th EDITION
We have a special edition of Ask Her this week to keep everyone entertained during the holiday break! Today, we are dealing solely with relationships. That’s pretty much it. It’s pretty insightful, though, so if you have boy trouble, you might find some good advice in these answers! ASK HER!
“Why did my 3 week situationship breakup hurt more than my long-term breakup?”
Hi love! Sometimes a three-week situationship hurts more than a long-term relationship because you’re not just grieving the person, but the potential. With a longer relationship, you usually see the red flags, the flaws, and the slow unraveling long before it officially ends. You have time to emotionally detach, even if it’s painful. But with something short and new, everything feels exciting and full of possibility. You start building a version of them in your head based on hope, timing, and how they made you feel. Because it ended so quickly, you never got the chance to fully feel everything your heart was ready for. Now it is left holding all that love with nowhere to put it. Short does not mean small; some connections land deeper and faster than others, and there is nothing wrong with being someone who loves with your whole heart, even early on. What matters most is that it did not break you; it just reminded you of the kind of connection you are willing to show up for. Something ending doesn’t mean you were wrong for hoping! It simply means it was not the person who was ready to match the way you love, and someone will.
-Piscis Martinez, Editor, & Victoria Sanchez, HC Writer
“I left a 2-year relationship just to end up in a situationship with him.”
I have done this with my ex as well! It was definitely a learning experience! I was in a year-long relationship and, basically, a year-and-a-half-long situationship with my ex, and when the situationship ended, it left me feeling way more confused and heartbroken than if we had just stayed broken up the first time. So, the feeling of being in the situationship with him is comforting because you can have that familiarity with him without the title of “boyfriend and girlfriend.” The hard truth is that no matter how much you think it can work, it most likely won’t, especially if there is no mention of officially getting back together and if there is a lack of communication. Just remember there are reasons why you left in the first place and give yourself an extended amount of time to heal in between the breakup, and when you’re ready, if you really want to get back together, try to do it the right way, not a halfway relationship.
-Courtney Buck, Editor
““He says he’s not ready for a relationship but acts like my boyfriend, what do I do?”
If he says he’s not ready for a relationship, believe him. If there is anything I can say about this situation…It would be to immediately shut it down. I’m not saying he wants to “love bomb” you or anything, but if he has the time to act like a boyfriend, why wouldn’t he put the effort into becoming one? If you really like him, make sure to let him know that you do want to make it official (assuming you do.) In a decade where people hate titles, it is all that much more important to stand for what YOU want. Whether that means to create a boundary or even make it official, you have every right to communicate that feeling. I hope things get situated!!
-Deseray Barraza, HC Writer
“My brother cheated on his girlfriend and is trying to get me to help him get her back… should I help him or not. I do NOT condone cheating.”
As important as family is, do not let someone else’s selfish intentions hurt your morals. Brothers do dumb stuff all the time and forget they have consequences to their actions and eventually they need that wake up call. I’d say if you care about your brother and his ex, tell him straight up to leave the girl alone, trying to keep her around after that betrayal of trust is awful and if he really wants her back he needs to respect her boundaries and space and realize that he made a mistake.
-Azja Farabee & Lilianna Rodriguez, HC Writers