Modern dating is fun in theory, but it’s not love. I often catch myself craving a kind of romance that feels…softer. Slower. Sweeter.
The romance that existed before our modern situationships, soft launches and the oh-so-dreaded “I’m not looking for anything serious right now.” The exhaustion that comes from constantly guessing, overthinking and needing to present that we do not care as much as we do.
What’s so wrong with caring?
Maybe it’s the English major in me, or just the fact that I am a hopeless romantic, but I can not help longing for a version of love that feels intentional.
A little more thoughtful. A little more like it was written in ink and sealed with a pressed flower.
Here are five reasons I wish love still felt a little old-fashioned.
- Love Letters Were Actually Effort
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There’s nothing remotely romantic about a “wyd.” Not when it’s sent half-heartedly, with zero punctuation, while the person is clearly doing five other things.
Handwritten letters, though?
Those shine with effort. Ink to paper, a true thought that formed a sentence and a sentence that represented a feeling. Someone took the time to sit down and put their words into existence.
Someone sitting down for 20 minutes, taking time out of their day, with only one thought on their mind -sharing what their heart felt.
No autocorrect, no predictive text and no shortcuts.
A love letter is proof that someone paused their world just to exist in yours. Love that can be folded, saved, reread, slipped into a book and even returned years later, maybe as vows.
A text, though, a text disappears. A letter is forever.
- Flowers Used To Be A Language
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Back then, flowers weren’t random; they meant something.
Roses for passion. Daisies for devotion. Forget-me-nots for literally…not forgetting someone.
Today, flowers are rare, even considered “too much,” as if showing affection is something to be embarrassed about and showing love makes you weak. However, there’s something beautiful about a bouquet being chosen with intention. Something beautiful about seeing a flower and thinking about the person you love.
Picking the exact petals that say what can’t be articulated out loud.
Flowers are simple, but their meaning is complex.
They say:
I thought of you.
I cared enough to choose.
I wanted you to feel special.
- The Yearning Was Half The Magic
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Love wasn’t instant. People actually missed each other deeply. There wasn’t this constant communication, or the anxiety of being left on “delivered” while someone is clearly active.
There was no checking of timestamps, no accidentally spiraling because of a read receipt.
There was waiting, hoping and counting down the days until a letter arrived or until you saw them again.
The sweetness that was created from the slow burn. The longing that made a reunion feel like your own movie, full of emotion, electricity and a moment that you will never forget.
Yearning wasn’t a problem; it was the story.
- Romance Wasn’t Embarrassing
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People weren’t afraid to be dramatic about love. They showed up at your door. They planned thoughtful dates.
They said exactly how they felt without worrying about appearing “unbothered.”
No performance, no ironic detachment or pretending emotions didn’t exist. They saw vulnerability as the whole point of falling for someone, not as the weakness we see it as today.
Love was allowed, love was expected to be grand, messy, hard, honest but sincere. It didn’t have to fit into the cool-girl script of “I don’t care.” Because back then, caring was attractive.
- Love Felt Like a Story, Not a Situationship
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Old-fashioned love had a plot. Keepsakes. First dances. Handwritten notes.
Inside jokes immortalized on paper instead of disappearing in Snapchat texts that expire in 24 hours. It wasn’t about convenience or “seeing what happens.” It was about fully, intentionally and repeatedly choosing each other.
Modern dating feels like everyone is keeping one foot out of the door. But old love? That was two people standing behind the same door, hand in hand, ready for anything that came their way.
Working through pain, arguments and trust without the thought of walking away.
Maybe this is why we romanticize the past. We aren’t craving the era itself. We are craving the love and the effort that comes with it.