Halloween is over, it’s time to put away the ghost props back into our storage bins and forget about them until the following year. Wrong- ghosting isn’t seasonal; it can leave you feeling invisible any day of the year.
What exactly is ghosting? Ghosting is when someone suddenly cuts off all forms of communication with another person without any explanation. They simply stop responding to texts, calls, and messages. Now, ghosting is different from any other form of cutting contact because the other person is left with no closure or explanation. Whereas clear communication can be short, maybe hurtful, but respectful because it leaves the other person with a reason, ghosting just leaves you confused. As humans we like to be prepared for things in the same way you prepare for a test so you are ready for what is to come, you prepare your clothes the night before so you are ready for the morning which is the same thing for relationships when you notice a slow drift you begin to prepare yourself for a relationship to come to an end but the sudden disappearance leaves us feeling disoriented.
Now, ghosting is hurtful because you are left with uncertainty, and in some scenarios, self-blame questioning if maybe you did something wrong to drive that person away, but how can you ever be sure? How long can you attempt to get in contact with someone who has no interest in giving you closure? It can feel like your self-respect has been stripped away because, in all seriousness, who likes to put energy into something that isn’t reciprocated? It’s almost embarrassing to admit, it leaves you wondering what about yourself wasn’t “good enough” to receive a deserved form of proper closure.
It’s important to realize and redirect our focus to understanding that when someone ghost’s you, it often has nothing to do with you; it just reflects the other person’s communication style or emotional readiness. We are all individual people with our own experiences, and our friends and loved ones may have different approaches to situations compared to how we would, which is totally okay.
Setting boundaries in friendships and relationships is essential when it comes to how much emotional uncertainty you are willing to tolerate. When you have a relationship in your life and their communication style is simply ghosting you, it is important to ask yourself what value that relationship truly adds to you. Constant uncertainty can drain you. At the end of the day, you are left to pick up the pieces because, unfortunately, an apology cannot undo the hurt that has already been planted. Recognizing what “enough” means for you will help you decide the value and place that person should hold in your life.
A misconception is that avoiding an issue will make it disappear, although truthfully, silence does not resolve a conflict, and it only leaves you unsettled. The takeaway from this is to communicate with the people you love because it will show you care, respect, and value that relationship, and having the courage to speak openly is what sustains trust and forms a stronger connection.