In relationships, there can be times when you’re away from your partner. For the last few months, my boyfriend and I haven’t lived within 30 minutes of each other — also known as our entire relationship.
Distance is hard, especially when we have clashing schedules.
We started dating towards the end of the summer, about early August. Even then, we didn’t have much time to see each other. He works during the day while I work at night. I have to work on Saturdays, and he doesn’t. Our free time was rare, and we tried our hardest to see each other while also maintaining our personal lives.
Now that I’m away at school, things are a mix of easier and harder. The easy is when we both have a free weekend and he comes to visit. We plan a visit early in the week and go from there. He usually comes to me, but there are exceptions here and there.
The hard parts are when one — or both — of us are busy and we can’t see each other. It’s hard, especially when I’m not the busy one. We still make it work. We talk on the phone every day for at least a couple of minutes and text all the time.
I don’t see being in college as a strain on our relationship, even though it’s still fresh. Sure, we bicker like everyone else over the little things, but it’s never over school. He supports my decisions when it comes to school and understands that school is currently a major part of my routine.
I, in return, understand that his job is a major part of his routine.
It was honestly never this easy to come to this conclusion. For the first month or so of the semester, we would see each other weekly, and I would have a hard time with him leaving on Sundays. Tears, wallowing, the works.
After a long, and much-needed, conversation, we worked on it and worked it out. We realized that no matter how hard it is, the distance is needed. We figured out something that works for us, not what we had imagined in our own heads.
When making things like this, work communication is key. I know it sounds cheesy and obvious, but it’s so hard to find the right communication. Initial communication is buggy. There are things you talk about, and it doesn’t work. Back to the drawing board? Not quite.
It’s easy to give up or give in. A word of advice: don’t. Compromise is key, even if it’s a lose-lose situation. It personally took a lot for me to compromise on only seeing my boyfriend for one day of the weekend instead of the whole weekend.
Medium-distance relationships aren’t the easiest things to navigate. They take time to find the perfect balance. I still dread the late Sunday mornings when I say goodbye for at least a week, but I know I’m still loved just the same.